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Active Listening

Published on Aug 07, 2017

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PRESENTATION OUTLINE

Active Listening

Listening to Understand
Photo by Philippe Put

What?

What is Active Listening?

Active listening occurs when you make an effort to understand the communication from the speaker’s point of view. As an active listener, the goal is to understand what the speaker is trying to convey; not what you want to hear.
Photo by johnnybelmont

What is Listening to Understand?

Listening to understand is difficult because it requires concentration, and concentration is tiring.
Photo by highersights

Barriers to Communicating Effectively

  • Using jargon
  • Unspoken emotional barriers
  • Lack of attention/interest
  • Distractions
  • Irrelevance to the receiver
  • Perceptual differences
  • Disabilities
  • Physical Barriers (phone call or texting)
  • Language differences or accents
  • Expectations and/or prejudices
  • Cultural differences
Jargon-over-complicated, unfamiliar or technical terms

Emotional barriers & taboo topics

Lack of attention, interest

Distractions

Irrelevance to the receiver

Disabilities such as hearing problems or speech problems

Physical barriers-not being able to see non-verbal cues, gestures, posture and general body language affects the quality and accuracy of communication

Expectations and prejudices-hearing what you expect to hear vs what is said; jumping to conclusions...

cultural differences-norms of social interactions differ; emotional expression differs; personal space differs.
Photo by EJP Photo

More Barriers...

  • Trying to listen to more than one conversation at once
  • Focusing on physical appearance
  • Disinterest, lack of focus, preoccopuation
  • Having an unmet need (i.e. hunger, thirst, bathroom)
  • Previous experiences or having a closed mind
Listening to multiple conversations, including the TV or radio, or telephone...

Focusing on physical appearance-you may pay more attention to whether you think a person is attractive (or not)...or mentally argue with a person simply because you don't like them or the way they look, or smell....

You're bored or disinterested

You're tired or not feeling well, or hungry/thirsty etc.

You sympathize vs empathize.

You have biases, make judgments, or draw on inaccurate previous experiences while a person is talking...

Having a closed mind--we look for confirmation bias
Photo by tropical.pete

Signs you aren't listening:

Photo by Rennett Stowe

Lack of eye contact

Photo by Doundounba

Inappropriate posture

Being distracted

Photo by Street matt

Inappropriate expressions/lack of head nods

Sudden topic changes

Photo by Laenulfean

Selective listening

Daydreaming

Photo by Celeste

Advising

So what?

Photo by Pavel ahmed

"Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk." -Doug Larson

Photo by angela7dreams

Active Listening helps

  • build trusting relationships
  • create new ways to solve problems
  • diffuse emotional situations
  • save time and money
Photo by Philippe 2009

Now What?

Ways to Show Active Listening

  • S.O.L.E.R.
  • Paraphrasing
  • Clarifying
  • Perception Checking
  • Summarizing
  • Primary Empathy
  • Advanced Empathy

S.O.L.E.R.

  • Squarely faced
  • Open posture
  • Lean forward
  • Eye contact
  • Relaxed
Photo by vinzcha

Paraphrasing- tests your understanding

Clarifying & Perception Checking-clears up vague information & checks comprehension

Photo by Michael Dales

Summarizing-pulls together themes & major points

Photo by djniks

Primary & Advanced Empathy

Steps to Better Listening

Photo by Harry Potts

No outside distractions

Physically relax. Breathe slowly and deeply. Put everything down, and shut out everything extra.

Open your mind

Don't judge. Only listen.
Photo by loop_oh

Listen for the bigger picture, not details

Photo by VinothChandar

Attend to non-verbals

Photo by Or Hiltch

Wait until they finish talking

Photo by Amos Bar-Zeev

Paraphrase the big picture

Challenge yourself before you challenge the speaker

A few weeks ago, I was reading at a bookstore in Raleigh, North Carolina and three of the people in the audience worked in mental health. One of them was an addiction counselor. At the end of the reading, she asked me what was the one thing I thought could help people most. My answer was the same as it’s always been: listen. Just listen. The truth is we live in a world where we don’t listen to people anymore. So often we’re just waiting for the next opening to respond. What we need to realize is that sometimes people don’t need advice. Sometimes people just need to be heard. Sometimes the greatest gift we can give someone is just to keep our mouths shut and let them empty themselves into our hands. When they’re finished, we don’t need to do anything with what they’ve given us. We just need to show them that we’re holding it for them till they can catch their breath

Russia is cold.

Photo by Luke Pamer