Active Listening
Published on Aug 07, 2017
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PRESENTATION OUTLINE
What?
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What is Active Listening?
Active listening occurs when you make an effort to understand the communication from the speaker’s point of view. As an active listener, the goal is to understand what the speaker is trying to convey; not what you want to hear.
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What is Listening to Understand?
Listening to understand is difficult because it requires concentration, and concentration is tiring.
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Barriers to Communicating Effectively
- Using jargon
- Unspoken emotional barriers
- Lack of attention/interest
- Distractions
- Irrelevance to the receiver
- Perceptual differences
- Disabilities
- Physical Barriers (phone call or texting)
- Language differences or accents
- Expectations and/or prejudices
- Cultural differences
Jargon-over-complicated, unfamiliar or technical terms
Emotional barriers & taboo topics
Lack of attention, interest
Distractions
Irrelevance to the receiver
Disabilities such as hearing problems or speech problems
Physical barriers-not being able to see non-verbal cues, gestures, posture and general body language affects the quality and accuracy of communication
Expectations and prejudices-hearing what you expect to hear vs what is said; jumping to conclusions...
cultural differences-norms of social interactions differ; emotional expression differs; personal space differs.
Emotional barriers & taboo topics
Lack of attention, interest
Distractions
Irrelevance to the receiver
Disabilities such as hearing problems or speech problems
Physical barriers-not being able to see non-verbal cues, gestures, posture and general body language affects the quality and accuracy of communication
Expectations and prejudices-hearing what you expect to hear vs what is said; jumping to conclusions...
cultural differences-norms of social interactions differ; emotional expression differs; personal space differs.
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More Barriers...
- Trying to listen to more than one conversation at once
- Focusing on physical appearance
- Disinterest, lack of focus, preoccopuation
- Having an unmet need (i.e. hunger, thirst, bathroom)
- Previous experiences or having a closed mind
Listening to multiple conversations, including the TV or radio, or telephone...
Focusing on physical appearance-you may pay more attention to whether you think a person is attractive (or not)...or mentally argue with a person simply because you don't like them or the way they look, or smell....
You're bored or disinterested
You're tired or not feeling well, or hungry/thirsty etc.
You sympathize vs empathize.
You have biases, make judgments, or draw on inaccurate previous experiences while a person is talking...
Having a closed mind--we look for confirmation bias
Focusing on physical appearance-you may pay more attention to whether you think a person is attractive (or not)...or mentally argue with a person simply because you don't like them or the way they look, or smell....
You're bored or disinterested
You're tired or not feeling well, or hungry/thirsty etc.
You sympathize vs empathize.
You have biases, make judgments, or draw on inaccurate previous experiences while a person is talking...
Having a closed mind--we look for confirmation bias
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Signs you aren't listening:
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Lack of eye contact
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Inappropriate posture
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Being distracted
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Inappropriate expressions/lack of head nods
Sudden topic changes
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Selective listening
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Advising
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So what?
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"Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk." -Doug Larson
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Active Listening helps
- build trusting relationships
- create new ways to solve problems
- diffuse emotional situations
- save time and money
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Now What?
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Ways to Show Active Listening
- S.O.L.E.R.
- Paraphrasing
- Clarifying
- Perception Checking
- Summarizing
- Primary Empathy
- Advanced Empathy
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Paraphrasing- tests your understanding
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Clarifying & Perception Checking-clears up vague information & checks comprehension
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Primary & Advanced Empathy
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Steps to Better Listening
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No outside distractions
Physically relax. Breathe slowly and deeply. Put everything down, and shut out everything extra.
Listen for the bigger picture, not details
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Wait until they finish talking
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Paraphrase the big picture
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Challenge yourself before you challenge the speaker
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A few weeks ago, I was reading at a bookstore in Raleigh, North Carolina and three of the people in the audience worked in mental health. One of them was an addiction counselor. At the end of the reading, she asked me what was the one thing I thought could help people most. My answer was the same as it’s always been: listen. Just listen. The truth is we live in a world where we don’t listen to people anymore. So often we’re just waiting for the next opening to respond. What we need to realize is that sometimes people don’t need advice. Sometimes people just need to be heard. Sometimes the greatest gift we can give someone is just to keep our mouths shut and let them empty themselves into our hands. When they’re finished, we don’t need to do anything with what they’ve given us. We just need to show them that we’re holding it for them till they can catch their breath
Geography is cool.
Russia is cold.
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