Slide one

Today were talking about the love of the father. Every person has two things in their life. We each have a mother who birthed us and we each have a father.

Today, we are going to talk about your father. Even the word father brings up very different emotions. Without realizing it when I say father some are anxious inside. Some are angry. Others feel lonely or even frightened to think of their own father experiences. Some may feel warm, honored and loved.

Our experiences of our fathers very from person-to-person. For example, how many love ice cream? What are some different favorite flavors? Lets think about all the flavors in ice cream. Some ice cream companies claim 31 different flavors. Chocolate is very different from pineapple; coffee is very different from bubblegum ice cream. All our fathers, too, come in different flavors, personalities and different abilities to be a father. No two fathers are alike. Many fathers usually treat their children like they themselves we're treated.

Some fathers were totally absent from their children's life. Some fathers were in and out, with a little love given. Some fathers were hard-working, so much they neglected to love and relate to their kids. They provided for the needs of the children but lacked expressing the deep love of the father.

Some fathers caused great pain by verbally accusing or other ways of hurting with words. Other fathers were physically hurtful through excessive beating, slave driving or sexual abuse. Some fathers were very loving, supportive and built confidence and a good self image in their children.

Just like all the different flavors of ice cream vary in taste. Some were better to us than others. No matter how good and loving your father was or how hurtful or abusive your father, none were as perfect as God our father. Our heavenly father meets all our needs in Christ Jesus.

Slide four

What is the healthy father role in our lives? 1. Each person gets their identity from their father? Who are you created to be? The good father answers the question of what is special about me. I am different from others, how does that bring confidence and positive attitudes in me as I grow up? Did the good father look into my eyes and speak love and blessings over me? 2. Protection is another important role of the father. An innocent child needs protection from any outside world assault but also wisdom inside the home from any abusive member of the family. 3. Provision is very important because dependent children have to have a safe home and physical needs of food, shelter, clothes and necessary physical needs.

Slide five

God our father wants all our needs to be met and provided by our earthly father. Just as there are many favors of ice cream we're going to mention a few different flavors of fathers.
1. the absent father. This comes about through death, divorce, abandonment, and working too much. In my own life, I had a very good father who rated high of all the roles of a father. It was not until I became an adult that I realized it relating to God the father I was having trouble receiving and believing his love. When I realized that my father who was absent a lot traveling for his work and then very intense in keeping up our home. This constituted abandonment issues in my heart. The reasons did not matter to me as a child. This resulted in my believing ,If I love God the father he will leave. I had a fear of being rejected and was unable to risk deeper relationship with God.

Graham Cook said: "What we think about God will determine everything we receive in life."
Psalm 68:5. He is a father to the fatherless's.
John 14: 18 He will not leave us as orphans.
Hebrews 13: 5. He will never leave us or forsake us.

I had to break down these childhood concepts of my earthly father, Whom I loveed dearly and realized I needed healing by God my father.

Slide six

The passive father: is not home when he is home. He is unable to express emotions. He has difficulty saying "I love you". He is uncomfortable with physical affection and is shut down emotionally. My dad loved to sit in a big chair and read the newspaper or rather hide behind the newspaper. The message was "Don't bother me. " When I first married and my husband read the newspaper for a long time, it was like a red flag to a bull. I surprised myself with so much anger of separation that I had never realized. I had to admit, though I loved my father a lot, his behavior was in someways passive. This view I projected on to God.
1. I knew God loved me but it was from a distance. 2. I had to walk by faith that God loves me. 3. I did not know how to experience the father's love. 4. I thought God was not interested in my life - I am not important. 5. It was hard for me to express love or know how to accept it in a meaningful way.
Psalms 139: 14-15 He formed us in our mother's womb. He is intimately acquainted with all our ways., Luke 12:7; He counted the hairs on my head. Isaiah 49:16; God has engraved our name on the palms of his hands. Psalm 34: 8 We can experience and know His love. Isaiah 43: 2; Fear not for I have redeemed you: I have summoned, I have called you by name, you are mine.

Slide seven

The performance oriented father. He values strict performance; his personal value is tied up closely with his child's performance. 1. He has very high standards and demands. 2. He rewards for fulfilling his hopes and expectations. 3. He expresses deep disapproval for not meeting them.

So that makes the child feel God only cares about my performance. New Testament disciplines become New Testament law. We were trying to earn love instead of receiving the free gift. We fear if we rest God will judge us.
1. We become people that drive to succeed.2. We strive for affection and desire to be noticed.3. We confused value with what we do, not who we are as God created us. 4. We are great at hiding our weaknesses and lying.

Realizing I cannot measure up, I give up. I Shutdown and do not compete on any level.

This is the root cause of depression. those raised in a performance driven home are susceptible to depression.

Slide 8

Imagine a large fishing boat going out with many other fishing boats every morning before dawn.. Jack Frost was a sea captain and his father was the extreme performance driven father. Jack had already failed to be a star tennis player like his father had been. This caused great disapproval and anger from his father. Jack's father waited every afternoon when the fishing boats came into the dock. He could see the boat coming in and tell how low it was in the water from the weight of fish caught as to the success of the day. Jack had to be top hook every day. If his fish catch did not weigh in the most of all the boats for the day, then the father stormed, screamed, expressed loud anger and disappointment. When he did get top hook award then the opposite behavior was expressed. There was the joy, pride, friendly relationship, and acceptance in dad's love.

After going through many troublesome years, Jack became a master teacher in the body of Christ on all the types of father . He helped many identify and get healed and delivered of our father offenses so we could draw near to our Heavenly Father. Ephesians 1:4. He chose us before the creation of the world. In love he predestined us to be his son not his slaves. John. 17:23. He loves us just as he loves Jesus.

Slide nine

The authoritative father. 1. Is a legalist. 2. Majors in truth and the letter of the law. 3. He is more comfortable with obedience and truth than love and intimacy. This is quite prevalent with men or women in our armed services who relate to peers by strong authority and blind obedience.

How does this affect children in this home? 1. Many believe God is harsh and impatient like their father. 2. Many believe God is only interested in public areas of their life. Private life is not important. 3. These people constantly are looking for someone else to blame.. They are in tolerant of anyone who does not act or think the way they do.

He has loved us with an everlasting love, He draws us with his loving kindness. Jeremiah 31: 3. He longs to be gracious to us, he rises to show his compassion Isaiah 30:18.

Slide 10

The abusive father. Inflicts deep emotional and or physical pain by beating or slapping. Emotional abuse is caused by saying, screaming accusations of hurt and condemnation. Sexual abuse is any form of contact with any sexual parts of the body of a minor. As the child matures this becomes a multi- faceted damage to the development of a healthy adult.

The projected view of God in these abused children.1. I believe I see God as the big cop in the sky. 2. God is the God of wrath anger and hurt. 3. God is to be feared not trusted. 4. God will hurt me if I get close. 5. God is quick to punish, not a loving merciful father.

We become angry with God for not protesting us. We feel we are inherently bad people. We are battling guilt and shame. We find it hard to draw close to God to trust Him and others.

Jeremiah 29:11. He plans to prosper us, not to harm us. He plans to give us hope and a future..
Isaiah 30: 18. He longs to be gracious to us. He rises to show us compassion.

Slide 11

The good father: Hooray, they do exist.
A. Instills love and security in his children
B. Calls sons and daughters to life
C. Builds confidence and positive self image

Having a good father sometimes causes us to not realize how much we do need our Heavenly Father. We are so satisfied.
A. One little fault can seem like a blaring issue.
B. It can seem dishonoring to have been hurt by something he did.
C. Don't know how to receive love from Father God.

Projected view onto God.
We may become Christians who relate mostly to Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Some don't want intimacy with Father God.
2 Corinthians 6: 18. " And I shall be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me," says the Lord Almighty.

Slide 12
Whereever your father falls on the spectrum from very abusive father to a good earthly father our earthly father is still imperfect. We all desperately need our heavenly father.

We are called to fully forgive our father and and ancestors before him that help frame who he is. Ask God the father to give you the gift of forgiveness and replace it with the perfect love and honor due our parents. If you have parents that are absent or dangerous to be in relationship with, you can still forgive, love and honor them in the spirit, blessing them from a distance.

Exodus 20: 12. Honor your father and mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.
Matthew 6: 14. For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive me in their sins, your father will not forgive your sins.
Luke. 6: 37. Do not judge and you will not be judged. Do not condemn and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven. Give and it will be given to you. A good measure,
pressed down, shaken together and pouring into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

Sly 13

THE PRODIGAL. SON

1. A father had two sons. The younger son wanted his whole inheritance now. He planned to go away to a foreign land and live.
2. The older son stayed home and continued working for the father.
3. The younger son squandered his whole inheritance and had nothing. He did not want to go back home. He felt Shame so he hired himself out to feed pigs. This is a great upset for Hebrews who had the nothing to do with pork. He had nothing to eat so he ate the pods the pigs were fed. He soon realized the servants in his fathers house are living better than he is so he will return to his father.
4. While returning he practiced what he would say to his father. I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired men.

Slide 14.
5. Here is the story of how much Father God loves you more than we can even imagine.
A. I have The father was actively looking down the road, hoping one day he would see his son walking toward home.


Slide


B. He recognizes his son at a distance
C. Before he got close the father began calling for the ring of identifying him as his son to put on his dirty hand.
D. He now can only see his son has come home and does not even see or smell the filth on his son.
E. The father's heart of love calls for the best robe and sandals for his feet. After living with pigs he had walked home barefooted. The father did not even wait to clean him up before honoring him, covering his neck with hugs and kisses.
F. The son repents from his heart. " I have sinned against heaven and you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.

Slide 15.
G. While rejoicing, he called for the best food available. He ordered the best fattest calf to be prepared for a feast celebrating the return of his son. He had waited, he had hoped in love and forgiveness. Now his son was with him.

God the The father is always looking for us to call out to him to return to him when we have sinned. He loves us so much, he sent his son Jesus to give us salvation into a new life of joy, love and peace. On the cross Jesus paid the price for our sins, our sicknesses and our debts.
When the older brother who stayed home became jealous and angry, the father answered him in love. My son, you will always be with me and everything I have is yours. I want to celebrate because this brother of yours was dead and is now alive again. He was lost and is now found..

Slide 16 – conclusion

Now you are invited to give your life to Jesus. Your loving Heavenly Father invited you to join in this new life of forgiveness, love , peace and joy. You may want to come up and let one of our prayer team pray and encourage you. You may want help in forgiving your earthly father or anyone else who has hurt you. Now you can open your heart to the love of God the father as he has given us Jesus. No matter what flavor your father is or was, forgive Him and come give your heart to Jesus.


Slide 18. Altar call