PEOPLE SMART

TRUST FUND

• It’s a metaphor for building trust with people that operates like a bank account.
• Making deposits builds trust and making withdrawals decrease it.
• Some examples of withdrawals are being mean, lying, breaking promises, talking behind another’s back, blaming or justifying.
• Some examples of deposits are being nice, telling the truth, keeping promises, speaking well of those who are absent, and apologizing.

COMMUNICATION

• Most people think that the main way we communicate is through our words.
• We communicate the most through our facial expressions, body posture, hand gestures; your dress, appearance, and personal hygiene.

THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT COMMUNICATION

• You cannot “not” communicate
• You cannot “not” make an impression

TORNADOES OF NEGATIVITY

• A positive/negative person or group tends to influence others in positive/negative ways.
• Identity the tornado as such
• Listen without taking it to heart
• Respond by saying “I hear you”
• Leave the tornado scene
• Take more drastic measures
• Consider expanding your friendship
• Clarify your feelings

RESPONDING TO HITS

• Hits are unexpected random, and negative events that can trigger a response or a reaction.
• Stability and resiliency help you respond in your own Best Interest.
• View every “hit” as “it’s my turn”.

CONFLICT RESOLUTION

• Toe-to-Toe is trying to win at the expense of the opponent’s loss.
• Heart-to-Heart is seeking a win for both themselves and the other person.
• Conflicts are usually resolved or reduced by effective listening and talking.
• At the heart of conflicts are misunderstandings.

INSTANT REPLAY

• Top 20’s desire and know how to make something better after they have made something worse.
• If we are interacting with someone who isn’t familiar with the term “Instant Replay,” we can ask for an Instant Replay in other ways.
• Our pride or need to be right may block us from improving a situation or relationship.

FEEDBACK

• Top 20’s rely heavily on feedback: information that helps us to see how we’re doing or where we’re going.
• Top 20’s are concerned with getting personal feedback. They want information on how to do something better.
• Critical feedback says, “CHANGE”.
• Affirming feedback says, “DON’T CHANGE”.
• Personal feedback says, “YOU CAN IMPROVE”.

GETTING FEEDBACK

• They ask for it.
• They listen openly and are nonjudgmental.
• They say it back.
• They thank the person for giving them feedback.
• They decide on the value of the feedback.

GIVING FEEDBACK

• They communicate their sincere intent in trying to benefit the other.
• They seek permission to give the feedback.
• They start by presenting the issue and listening to what the other person has to say about it.
• They then offer direct feedback.
• They offer to problem solve.

LEADERSHIP

• Top 20’s look to lead others and add something of value to the lives of other people.
• Star Qualities and Negative Mental Habits are equally contagious.
• EQ is even more important for people involved in leadership positions.
• The Leadership Continuum: Interdependence, Independence, Dependence.
• Leader: a person who made everyone on the team a better player.

HANGOUTS

• Where you hang out can make a difference in your life.
• You will never be happy unless you are becoming who you are.
• There’s nothing wrong with Pleasing Other People as long as you don’t forget your core or neglect your actual purpose of being your True Self.
• Yes or No’s make a difference.

BECOMING

• Law of Attraction: The positive or negative results I have in my life are attracted to me by the person I have become.
• Success isn’t something we reach out for.
• Remember that what you become is more important than what you achieve.

THE END!