Eliciting and Changing a Limiting Belief
Published on Sep 07, 2020
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Eliciting and Changing a Limiting Belief
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We TALK to OURSELVES all the time
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This internal dialogue is called SELF-TALK
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Our SELF-TALK and our THINKING can be negative, unhealthy and limiting, or
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Healthy, beneficial and empowering
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Either way, what we say and what we think leads to what we BELIEVE
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Our beliefs determine our FEELINGS and our feelings influence our BEHAVIOUR
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And the results we get reinforce our THOUGHTS & BELIEFS
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This thinking loop creates what’s called A SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECY
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We need to be aware of the thinking loops that determine our experience
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Thinking loops which limit us need to be challenged, changed and replaced with thinking loops that are healthy, empowering and which serve us well
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Here’s an example of a thinking loop leading to a self-fulfilling prophecy for someone who is shy
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“I’m shy and find it difficult talking to people. There are some people over there I would like to talk to, but I can’t approach them and start a conversation because I’m shy and find it difficult talking to people”
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Their behaviour is then justified by them saying: “You see, I told you I couldn’t do it!”
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Limiting beliefs like “I find it difficult talking to people” are revealed, more often than not when we’re tested, challenged and put under-pressure
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We tell ourselves we can’t tolerate or cope with the situation and so we avoid or seek safety from it
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A negative thinking loop might go something like this:
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BELIEF/SELF-TALK: “I could try and change my life but what if I can’t? What if I fail. I’m such a loser. People will think I’m an idiot for trying and failing. It will be humiliating, embarrassing, awful, horrendous”
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FEELING: stressed, worried, fearful & anxious
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Examples of negative self-talk/limiting beliefs that lead to self-fulfilling prophecies:
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“This sounds really hard.”
“I can’t possibly do this”
“I’ll fail and make a fool of myself”
“I’m hopeless, helpless and incapable of change”
“I am the way I am, it is the way it is and there’s nothing I can do about it”
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Examples of positive self-talk/empowering beliefs that lead to self-fulfilling prophecies:
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“This sounds challenging for sure, but I’ll give it my best shot”
“I can do this”
“I’ll might try and fail but that doesn’t mean I’m a failure”
“I’m hardworking, determined and committed to changing my life”
“I’ll do whatever it takes. I’m not a quitter!”
“Any limiting beliefs I may have are not set it stone. I can change any of the beliefs I hold if I want to”
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BELIEF/SELF-TALK: “I’m not prepared to put up with this issue anymore. I’m going to change my life. I might not succeed the first time around but that doesn’t mean I’m a failure or a loser. People might think I’m an idiot if I try to change and fail but that’s for them to deal with. I don’t like failing or making mistakes but it’s not embarrassing, or awful, or horrendous. It’s just a bit unpleasant that’s all and I can cope with things being a bit unpleasant”
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FEELING: confident, optimistic and powerful
RESULT: have a go and win
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Powerful thoughts create empowering beliefs. These empowering beliefs are captured in the positive, empowering self-talk that drives our behaviour and the results we get in life
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We can practice talking to ourselves in a powerful way daily. And as we do so we will create powerful thoughts and powerful beliefs. In time, the old patterns that use to hold us back will be broken and replaced with the healthy, beneficial patterns we find in those who live a happy, flourishing life
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Thanks for Listening
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