FROM GRIEF TO GRACE

Published on Nov 19, 2015

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PRESENTATION OUTLINE

FROM GRIEF TO GRACE

ABORTION...
Who?
Why?
What?
How?

Abortion...

The word may prompt chills of horror

A memory hard to forget

Heated topic of debate

Tough subject to talk about

Deeply emotional & complex experience

Life changing experience
Photo by Mary Vican

Who?

Who do you think has abortions?
Photo by Julia Pironea

THE NEED

21% of all pregnancies (excluding miscarriages) end in abortion

50% of women having abortions each year have had at least one previous abortion

At current rates, 33%, that's 1 in 3, women will have at least one abortion by age 45

Six in 10 women having abortions are mothers

Religious Affiliation

When U.S. women having abortions are asked their religion 65% report they are catholic or protestant

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These are generalizations

Every woman is unique and her set of circumstances are different

One thing common to all is the loss of her child

We make assumptions about how she feels about it....

What do some say...?

What have you heard or noticed...?
Photo by ecstaticist

Why?

Most women who decide to have an abortion understand the responsibilities of parenthood; a majority already have children.

Some of the most common were inability to care for or afford a child and concern for the kind of life they could provide for a child (or another child).

Interfere with school, employment

Most have multiple reasons

Misguided
Selfish
Uncaring
Cold
Evil
Pathetic
Killer
Murderer

So many labels are used to describe a woman who's had an abortion moving from Misguided and Selfish to Killer and Murderer.

My experience shows that is farthest from the truth

Woman experience real, lasting emotions that impact the rest of their life and every relationship

Numb - Relieved - Confused

Photo by 21TonGiant

Anxious - Afraid

Regret  Anger

Regret  Anger

Regret 

Regret                

Guilty - Ashamed

Lonely - Heartbroken

WHAT ABOUT THE FATHERS?

Photo by mescon

What about the fathers?

Men struggle with many of the same symptoms of complicated grief as women do

Guilt, anxiety, depression, sexual dysfunction, anger

Men may be better equipped to stuff these feelings or compartmentalize the feelings

Act out
Photo by mescon

Post Abortion Trauma

Photo by Hjem

What Leads to Post Abortion Hurt?

  • Trauma
  • Grief
  • Relationship Problems
  • Spiritual Loss & Alienation

TRAUMA

Physical  -  Psychological
Post abortion trauma - PTSD


Abortion is a medically invasive procedure

Later term abortions may involved inducing labor, incomplete abortions


Unplanned pregnancy itself

Traumatic loss

Depersonalized atmosphere
Photo by Daniele Zedda

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Fight -
Anger, Aggressiveness, Repeat abortions, Hypervigilance

Flight -
Medicate, relationship & bonding issues

Freeze -
Flat,

Grief

Grief hurts!

But it leads to resolution

Women don't feel they can grieve:

- secret
- my choice
- no 'formal' support, eg funeral, naming

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Losses

- my child
- opportunity to parent
- self image
- relationships
- spiritual connections


Losses continue...grandchildren..

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS

40-75% Couples break-up

Why:

Woman
Pressured to abort-> resentment, distrust, clinginess

R w/ parents, living children

Men
Reaction to woman's trauma -> defensive, withdraw

Sexual problems

Rescuer

Anger, reaction to authority

Inability to commit

THE LORD IS NEAR TO THE BROKENHEARTED

HE RESCUES THOSE WHOSE SPIRITS ARE CRUSHED

NOT A SINGLE SPARROW

CAN FALL TO THE GROUND WITHOUT YOUR FATHER KNOWING IT
Photo by chapmankj75

Paths to Healing

  • Trauma -> Counseling
  • Physical ->  Evaluation
  • Spiritual -> Clergy
  • Group support -> Rachel's Vineyard

How do I talk

to someone who's had an abortion?
Photo by Kris Krug

HE WILL MAKE A WAY

Jesus is the Way!

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  • Listen with your heart
  • Ask God: What does she need today?
  • Let her tell her story
  • Assure her of your love and support
  • Encourage and help her connect

"I saw an interesting article that gave me a new outlook on abortion. I never realized the pressures women face in making that decision.

Women suffer afterward from grief, shame and feeling alone. They can feel judged by others and that there's no hope.

There are programs like Rachel's Vineyard that help women and men struggling after abortion. People get get help."

SPIRITUAL LOSS

Is abortion the unforgiveable sin?
Photo by ecstaticist

Jane Patterson Abbate

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