Funny Stories & Riddles by Julia Rimkunas

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Slide Notes

Funny Stories & Riddles

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PRESENTATION OUTLINE

FUNNY STORIES & RIDDLES

BY JULIA RIMKUNAS

Photo by Tim Mossholder

STORY #1:

SHUT UP, MANNERS, AND POOP

Photo by the_tphipps

There were 3 men, one was named “Shut Up”, the next “Manners”, and the last “Poop”. One day they were driving in a car. Shut Up was the driver, and he kept going over the speed limit. Poop was leaning out the window, when suddenly, he fell out of it. Manners yelled at Shut Up, “Stop the car!” Shut Up stopped the car and Manners jumped out to go and get Poop.

Photo by subadei

Shut Up laughed, and while Manners and Poop were out, he zoomed the car away. He was going way over the speed limit again, but he didn’t care. Suddenly, a police car pulled Shut Up over to the side of the road. The policeman walked over to Shut Up. “You were going way over the speed limit!” He shouted. “I need your name so that I can write you a ticket.” Shut Up sighed, then gave in. “Shut Up,” he replied to the Policeman.

Photo by Wade Brooks

“You don’t say shut up to me, young man!” Yelled the policeman. Now tell me your name!”
“Shut Up,” said Shut Up, who was now getting frustrated. The policeman didn’t know that was his actual name!
“I’ll give you ONE last try!” Yelled the policeman. Otherwise you’re going to jail straight away!”
Shut Up was now very frustrated and said, “Shut Up!”

Photo by Thomas Hawk

The policeman shook his head. “Where are your manners!?” He demanded. “Back there, picking up Poop.” Shut Up replied, because it was true. Manners and Poop where still far behind where Poop had fell out. The policeman was now red in the face and he tried to handcuff Shut Up. But Shut Up jumped in the car and sped away, picking up Manners and Poop as he went.

STORY #2:

THE MAN WHO DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO TALK

Once, there was a man who didn’t know how to talk. He joined a church choir, and he learned the words “la la la la la” and “hallelujah”. But those were the only words he could say, and he kept being annoying, so the choir kicked him out. So the man got a new job at a new restaurant in town. There, he learned how to say “forks and knives, forks and knives.” The customers thought he was creepy, so the restaurant fired him.

So the man got a job at a candy store. Once, he saw 2 kids fighting over a lollipop in the store. One of the kids yelled, “He stole my lollipop!” And the man remembered that sentence forever, so he learned how to say some new words. Then the man kept saying, “He stole my lollipop!” To everyone in the store. So the candy store fired him. The man now knew 4 words/sentences. But he couldn’t find another job.

So the man just wandered the streets, looking for food and a job. One day, he came across a dead body lying by the side of the road. The man went over to investigate. As he was standing by the body, a policeman ran over. “Sir, did you kill this man?” He demanded. “La la la la la,” the man said. “What did you kill him with?” Asked the policeman. “Forks and knives, forks and knives!” The man replied.

Julia Rimkunas