Having Hard Conversations

"Speak when you're angry - and you'll make the best speech of your life you'll ever regret." - Lawrence Peter

"What if we know better, don't we say something?"
"Why do you feel you have to let go of your own judgement?" Jen Abrams

Having Hard Conversations

• Get clear
• Craft
• Communicate Process

Get clear

Get clear (on your own motivations)

• A desire to please
• Personal safety
• Personal comfort
• Fear of unknown
• No sense of urgency
• I don't fit in here
• Waiting for the perfect moment

Get clear (on your own motivations)

• Distrust of oneself or others
• Lack of authority
• Distrusting our own judgment
• Fear of kicking someone who is down
• Too big a shift in role expectations
• This wasn't in the job description
• Too close to home

Get clear (on your own motivations)

• Conflict with beliefs or values
• Fatigue
• Personality or intent

Get clear (on your own motivations)

• What other reasons would you add to the list of ways we avoid hard conversations?

Craft

Classroom management: teacher's use of processes, procedures, rituals and rules.

Meeting needs of a variety of learners: accommodating and planning for all student learning.

Planning lessons and instructional delivery: Setting lessons to bring out students' prior knowledge, to pace to the complexity of the subject, and to offer students a chance for review.

Assessment: Summative, formative, formal, informal, rubrics, grading, and mix of projects.

Developing as a professional educator: teachers willingness and commitment to growing professionally, to honing practice, and to taking charge of his or her learning.

Participation in the school community: articulated behaviors, habits, timeliness, collaboration, cooperation, time-management and sensibilities that allow for professional learning communities.

Craft

• Classroom management and climate
• Meeting needs of a variety of learners
• Planning lessons and instructional delivery
• Assessment
• Developing as a professional educator
• Participation in the school community

Question: How do your present teacher/staff observations and evaluations connect to discussions related to conversations around 'craft' or behaviors in teaching?

Communicate Process

1. Set the tone and purpose of the conversation.

2. Get to the point and name it professionally.

3. Give specific examples.

4. Describe the effect of this behavior on the school.

5. State your wish to resolve the issue and open the discussion.

Application:

Bonus tips:

• Initiating contact
• Finding a location
• Thinking about timing
• Voice, hands, eyes
• *Thinking about language

*Language examples...

• "The expectation is..." NOT "Perhaps you should."
• "This is not negotiable..." NOT "Perhaps you should."
• "Please begin to implement..." NOT "I would encourage you to."
• "Please do the following..." NOT "Something you might want to do."

Bonus tips (cont...):

• Props for the meeting
• Preparing emotionally
• Conversational style
• Knowing the greater yes

Get clear

Craft

Communicate Process

Having Hard Conversations

• Get clear
• Craft
• Communicate Process
• (What else would you add to these tips?)

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