JAMES COOK VACATIONS

FIRST STOP: NEW ZEALAND

• Learn how to prepare and eat Bracken Ferns from the friendly natives before exploiting them!
• Relax in a hot mud bath at Tikitare, named after a suicidal native princess! Careful where you dip in please, one of the crewmen has third degree burns now.
• Get a beautiful sight at both the North and South islands! So long as you can navigate the shortest distance between the two, the infamously rough Cook Strait.

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SECOND STOP: TIERRA DEL FUEGO

• Get a lovely view of Mount Darwin, Tierra Del Fuego’s largest mountain! Have fun getting around it.
• Catch some delicious, fresh from the bitterly cold sea King Crab! Watch the spikes and you’ll be fine.
• Try and snag another bite to eat out of the Rio Grande, the largest river in the area!

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THIRD STOP: NEW ZEALAND

• Learn how to-, wait a minute, we’ve been here before. Moving on.

ACTUAL THIRD STOP: TAHITI

• Hop between the surrounding islands and hope one doesn’t house venomous animals.
• Get a look at the Papenoo River that stretches from the mountains to the coast.
• Enjoy some tropical fruit while you can, because the next stop will definitely not have any.

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FOURTH STOP: THE GREAT BARRIER REEF

• Now that you’re here, experience the thrill of guiding a massive wooden ship through tons of razor sharp coral reefs.
• Stop by in Australia to rest from your adventures in the sea.
• Catch cod and coral trout to help feed the crew while they try and navigate out of the reef itself.

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FIFTH STOP: ANTARCTICA

• Enjoy...ice! Please, there’s so much.
• Attempt to catch fish or penguins for food, there’s no natives to explain how to prepare it though.
• Navigate the ship through a lovely maze of massive icebergs before the party freezes to death!

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SIXTH STOP: NEW ZEALAND

• You’ve got to be kidding me. Who has the compass? Does anybody have a map that doesn’t have snow on it?

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