Learning To Ally v 2.0
Published on Nov 18, 2015
Originally presented to the students, staff, and faculty Lawrence Academy (http://www.lacademy.edu/, @lawrenceacademy) - a deck about being an #lgbtq ally.
about.me/courtneydrew
MORE DECKS TO EXPLORE
PRESENTATION OUTLINE
THIS IS ME
This is me, Drew.
I believe in authentic leadership, the value of partnership, and the power of positivity.
I've been passionate about education and advocacy my whole life. I'm also into having fun, listening to music, and hanging out with friends. I pretend to like running, too.
I believe in authentic leadership, the value of partnership, and the power of positivity.
I've been passionate about education and advocacy my whole life. I'm also into having fun, listening to music, and hanging out with friends. I pretend to like running, too.
Untitled Slide
- Identity & intentionality
- Using language well
- Stereotypes & phobias
- Being an ally
This is what I'll cover today!
WE ARE MADE
OF MANY IDENTITIES
Each of us is made of a ton of identities, which makes us all unique... and THAT makes us all the same. Weird, right?
I'm a self-identified catlady, queer person from the midwest, with influences from the east coast. I'm an only child, raised Catholic in a suburban neighborhood. I like the rush of the cities, and the comfort of camping. While you may share some of these qualities, you may not share all, and the same goes for those around you.
When we realize there are many components to each of us, we can begin to understand the importance of respecting those identities.
I'm a self-identified catlady, queer person from the midwest, with influences from the east coast. I'm an only child, raised Catholic in a suburban neighborhood. I like the rush of the cities, and the comfort of camping. While you may share some of these qualities, you may not share all, and the same goes for those around you.
When we realize there are many components to each of us, we can begin to understand the importance of respecting those identities.
Photo by hmomoy
WORDS MATTER
choose wisely.
It's easy to offend without meaning to do so. Be intentional about the words and language you use.
Photo by Endangered_Human
Lifestyle
Preference
Orientation
Lifestyle represents a choice one makes on how they want to live a certain aspect of their life. For instance, if one chooses to be vegan, or practice mindfulness, or is very active - those can be considered lifestyles.
We all have sexual preferences - that is, how we choose to have sex and/or express our sexual orientation.
Sexual orientation, however, is not the same as sexual preference. Our sexual orientation is who we are attracted to sexually.
We all have sexual preferences - that is, how we choose to have sex and/or express our sexual orientation.
Sexual orientation, however, is not the same as sexual preference. Our sexual orientation is who we are attracted to sexually.
Photo by beatplusmelody
LGBTQ:
Lesbian
Gay
Bisexual
Transgender
Queer
You may see lots of different letters added to the LGBTQ communities/families. I like using these five and defining them as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer.
If you see "I" added, it generally stands for "intersex."
If you see an "A" added, it generally means either Ally or Asexual.
If you see a "Q" it could stand for either Questioning or Queer. Both of these are VALID identities and should be treated as such.
If you see "I" added, it generally stands for "intersex."
If you see an "A" added, it generally means either Ally or Asexual.
If you see a "Q" it could stand for either Questioning or Queer. Both of these are VALID identities and should be treated as such.
Photo by ceart99
NOT COOL
SOME WORDS...
Some people choose to be mean intentionally, but most people are simply ignorant and unaware. As allies, it's our job to stand up, address those "not cool" words, and cut down stereotypes.
Photo by ashleigh290
STEREOTYPES
For one, I know this is a boombox, not a stereo. But it's cool, so be cool.
Stereotypes are all around us. We participate in them sometimes without knowing. But they're not cool, and there's NO SUCH THING as a positive stereotype. We HAVE to check our stereotypes because they lead to BIAS.
We ALL have our own biases. This is natural. and it also means it's SUPER important that we keep them in check.
Stereotypes are all around us. We participate in them sometimes without knowing. But they're not cool, and there's NO SUCH THING as a positive stereotype. We HAVE to check our stereotypes because they lead to BIAS.
We ALL have our own biases. This is natural. and it also means it's SUPER important that we keep them in check.
Photo by stallio
PHOBIAS & ISMS
- Homophobia/biphobia
- Transphobia
- Heterosexism
- Cissexism
These phobias are NOT just fear-based. They can ALSO be rooted in hatred and misunderstanding. They can lead to discrimination and negative action.
Hetero and cissexism are the notion that being heterosexual and cisgender are normal and the ONLY way we should be. For more information on these, check this comprehensive list of definitions:
http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2013/01/a-comprehensive-list-of-lgbtq-t...
Hetero and cissexism are the notion that being heterosexual and cisgender are normal and the ONLY way we should be. For more information on these, check this comprehensive list of definitions:
http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2013/01/a-comprehensive-list-of-lgbtq-t...
Photo by kevin dooley
Being LGBTQ: It's just a phase.
MYTH!
Being LGBTQ is part of a person's identity!
Being LGBTQ is part of a person's identity!
Photo by ~Urban Prowler~ (www.anshumm.com)
Bisexuals are looking for the best of both worlds.
MYTH! Bisexuals face the MOST discrimination out of the LGBTQ communities.
If someone comes out to you as bisexual, give them a highfive or a handshake. They're going to need it!
Read more:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/news/celebrate-bisexuality-day/
If someone comes out to you as bisexual, give them a highfive or a handshake. They're going to need it!
Read more:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/news/celebrate-bisexuality-day/
Photo by JD Hancock
Trans* folks are just confused... they'll get over it.
MYTH!
Trans* folks are no more confused than any other folks out there. Life is confusing and hard - we are all trying to get through it. If someone comes out as trans* be supportive!
Trans* folks are no more confused than any other folks out there. Life is confusing and hard - we are all trying to get through it. If someone comes out as trans* be supportive!
Photo by Jilligan86
The best way to address a person's pronouns is to confidently guess
MYTH!
The best way to address a person's pronouns is to ASK!
"Which pronouns would you like me to use?" works great! No need to make it more complicated than it is. If you're wondering, I can almost guarantee you won't be the first person to ask.
For more on this, check my blogpost:
https://mixedmetas.wordpress.com/2015/05/09/pronouns-matter-aka-just-ask-it...
The best way to address a person's pronouns is to ASK!
"Which pronouns would you like me to use?" works great! No need to make it more complicated than it is. If you're wondering, I can almost guarantee you won't be the first person to ask.
For more on this, check my blogpost:
https://mixedmetas.wordpress.com/2015/05/09/pronouns-matter-aka-just-ask-it...
Photo by striatic
LGBTQ youth are up to 7 times more likely to think about committing suicide than heterosexual teens
FACT!
It is not BECAUSE they identify as LGBTorQ, it's because of the factors that come with it. With fewer support systems and increased discrimination, it can be really hard to find a good coping system.
It is not BECAUSE they identify as LGBTorQ, it's because of the factors that come with it. With fewer support systems and increased discrimination, it can be really hard to find a good coping system.
Photo by Frank Wuestefeld
The closet is a super cool place to be
MYTH: The closet is terrible!
BEING OUT IS ALWAYS BETTER
MYTH! But sometimes it is the most "comfortable" if there's not a lot of supportive allies.
THIS IS WHERE WE STEP IN!
THIS IS WHERE WE STEP IN!
Photo by Franco Folini
It starts with a focus on
INCLUSION
FOCUS on inclusion! It's crucial for us to make sure we're creating a positive, supportive environment for everyone around us.
Like these fools (me and my bestest friends,) who are trying to cram into a selfie while walking down the street.
Like these fools (me and my bestest friends,) who are trying to cram into a selfie while walking down the street.
Question your Assumptions
Understand THIER Needs
Educate
Empower
Refer
This is the QUEER method of allyhood.
QUESTION your assumptions
UNDERSTAND the needs of the person who's coming to you
EDUCATE yourself and others around you
EMPOWER yourself and others to step up and be authentic. Support is crucial, but so is the feeling that we can all make a difference just by being who we are.
REFER people if you think you're not the best person to handle a situation. We can all be helpful, but we're rarely the last step of the equation.
QUESTION your assumptions
UNDERSTAND the needs of the person who's coming to you
EDUCATE yourself and others around you
EMPOWER yourself and others to step up and be authentic. Support is crucial, but so is the feeling that we can all make a difference just by being who we are.
REFER people if you think you're not the best person to handle a situation. We can all be helpful, but we're rarely the last step of the equation.
LISTEN FOR CUES
Always keep your best listening ears on. Somethings people tell us about themselves between the lines. Pick up on the cues and adjust your language/behavior accordingly when possible.
HAVE EACH OTHER'S BACK
If you hear/see something, say something. Always have each other's back. That's what being an ally is all about.
APOLOGIZE FOR MISTAKES
When you make a mistake, because we all do, apologize for it and work to correct the behavior or language in the future. It's all about intentionality.
LIVE WITH INTENTION
Always, always, always - live with intention and be present in the moment. When you increase your awareness, you are much more likely to step up and be an ally.
Further your own knowledge about the LGBTQ communities, check out my post: "Top Ten Misconceptions about the LGBTQ Communities."
https://mixedmetas.wordpress.com/2015/04/14/top-10-misconceptions-about-lgb...
Further your own knowledge about the LGBTQ communities, check out my post: "Top Ten Misconceptions about the LGBTQ Communities."
https://mixedmetas.wordpress.com/2015/04/14/top-10-misconceptions-about-lgb...
