Lonely Leaders
Published on Dec 16, 2016
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Lonely Leaders
Why being a leader feels lonely and leadership is necessary
A Lonely Monkey
What do you mean when you say loneliness? Is loneliness caused by circumstances?
-loneliness that comes from criticism and sabotage
-loneliness that comes from being alientated and estranged from meaningful human connection
-loneliness of carrying too much of a burden alone
-loneliness of being the only one carrying the vision
-lonliness of feeling disconnected or abandoned by God
Story about Monkey from 2nd grade. We're all lonely, we're all just trying to figure out how to not be lonely.
Time at Geneva - surrounded by people and yet so lonely.
-loneliness that comes from criticism and sabotage
-loneliness that comes from being alientated and estranged from meaningful human connection
-loneliness of carrying too much of a burden alone
-loneliness of being the only one carrying the vision
-lonliness of feeling disconnected or abandoned by God
Story about Monkey from 2nd grade. We're all lonely, we're all just trying to figure out how to not be lonely.
Time at Geneva - surrounded by people and yet so lonely.
""Leading" can at times feel lonely. "Leadership" is never lonely, because it is always done together, relationally, collaboratively."
Our Design
Imago Dei - God himself exists in community
we were never supposed to be alone. Everything was meant to be within the context of community.
-Adam and Eve
-Israelites in the desert
-Jesus and 12 disciples
Meant to live as co-laborers
we were never supposed to be alone. Everything was meant to be within the context of community.
-Adam and Eve
-Israelites in the desert
-Jesus and 12 disciples
Meant to live as co-laborers
Ubuntu
Ubuntu is the idea that our individual identities are wrapped up with those that we live among. "I am what I am because of who we all are"
Ubuntu speaks particularly about the fact you can't exist as a human being in isolation
Ubuntu speaks particularly about the fact you can't exist as a human being in isolation
Kingdom Collaboration
Story of John the Baptist:
Luke 7:19
John is imprisoned fighting discouragement, frustrated, lonely...maybe having second thoughts about Jesus and his own ministry to prepare the way of the Lord. "And John, calling two of his disciples to him, sent them to the Lord, saying, 'are you the one who is to come, or shall we look for another?"
John's perspective has been sclouded because he started to allow his current circumstances to take over his thinking.
Jesus responds and says, "go and tell John what you have seen and heard: the blind receive their sight, the lame walk, lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised up the poor have good news preached to them."
Jesus doesn't even directly answer the question, but brings it all back to the Kingdom. It wasn't that Jesus wasn't empathetic to John's predicament, but He was bringing his attention back to the context of the Kingdom. Something greater was at work - it's all about the Kingdom.
Our leadership begins with a kingdom perspective, it points toward a kingdom vision and should end with a kingdom purpose.
Luke 7:19
John is imprisoned fighting discouragement, frustrated, lonely...maybe having second thoughts about Jesus and his own ministry to prepare the way of the Lord. "And John, calling two of his disciples to him, sent them to the Lord, saying, 'are you the one who is to come, or shall we look for another?"
John's perspective has been sclouded because he started to allow his current circumstances to take over his thinking.
Jesus responds and says, "go and tell John what you have seen and heard: the blind receive their sight, the lame walk, lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised up the poor have good news preached to them."
Jesus doesn't even directly answer the question, but brings it all back to the Kingdom. It wasn't that Jesus wasn't empathetic to John's predicament, but He was bringing his attention back to the context of the Kingdom. Something greater was at work - it's all about the Kingdom.
Our leadership begins with a kingdom perspective, it points toward a kingdom vision and should end with a kingdom purpose.
He must increase, I must decrease
Leadership is lonely because decreasing is lonely. The larger the Lord of your life becomes to others, the less they see you, and isn't that what we all want? Just a bit? To be seen, known, and truly loved? To be unshackled from the collective prison of our minds and hearts, to be free to roam among other commoners, to find our place at the fire or the table, to fit in?
"One of the major limitations of imagination's fruits is the fear of standing out."
Great - now what?
1. Go back to your mission/vision/goals. You are leading in the context of the kingdom. Be a colaborer for the kingdom. Ask Holy Spirit to be there with you in the lonliness, confusion and mess. Invite Holy Spirit to increase as you humbly learn what it means to decrease.
2. Don't forget who you are and how you were designed. You were made in the image of God. Go to your team, decide who your "first team" is and let them know that they're your first team. Let them know when you're feeling lonely/isolated...chances are you won't be alone in that.
“Everybody has a home team: It’s the people you call when you get a flat tire or when something terrible happens. It’s the people who, near or far, know everything that’s wrong with you and love you anyways. These are the ones who tell you their secrets, who get themselves a glass of water without asking when they’re at your house. These are the people who cry when you cry. These are your people, your middle-of-the-night, no-matter-what people.”
3. Go to your mentor, supervisor, leader
A good coach helps you see blind spots and get underneath issues, not just attack them at the surface.
But, good and faithful—and lonely—servant, find your joy not in being known, but in making him known.
2. Don't forget who you are and how you were designed. You were made in the image of God. Go to your team, decide who your "first team" is and let them know that they're your first team. Let them know when you're feeling lonely/isolated...chances are you won't be alone in that.
“Everybody has a home team: It’s the people you call when you get a flat tire or when something terrible happens. It’s the people who, near or far, know everything that’s wrong with you and love you anyways. These are the ones who tell you their secrets, who get themselves a glass of water without asking when they’re at your house. These are the people who cry when you cry. These are your people, your middle-of-the-night, no-matter-what people.”
3. Go to your mentor, supervisor, leader
A good coach helps you see blind spots and get underneath issues, not just attack them at the surface.
But, good and faithful—and lonely—servant, find your joy not in being known, but in making him known.
