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Slide Notes
Welcome to Make Your Life Matter. I'm Erin, founder of Girl Catch Fire. We're an online community of women seeking to encounter the God who created us, so we can know what for and just how to go do it.
So glad you've joined us here today.
Before we dive in, I want to explain really clearly who this webinar is for.
So glad you've joined us here today.
Before we dive in, I want to explain really clearly who this webinar is for.
Make Your Life Matter
Published on Nov 14, 2017
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PRESENTATION OUTLINE
Make Your Life Matter
Five steps to get out of your rut & into your purpose.
Welcome to Make Your Life Matter. I'm Erin, founder of Girl Catch Fire. We're an online community of women seeking to encounter the God who created us, so we can know what for and just how to go do it.
So glad you've joined us here today.
Before we dive in, I want to explain really clearly who this webinar is for.
So glad you've joined us here today.
Before we dive in, I want to explain really clearly who this webinar is for.
Who this is for...
- High-performing women who feel lost, empty or stuck in a spiritual, personal or career rut.
- Women who are hungry for durable, internal change.
- Women who want to live every day with power, love and influence, but aren’t sure how.
1. This webinar is for High-performing women who feel lost empty or stuck in a spiritual, personal or career rut. OR women who want to become high-performing women and start living a life that matters.
2. Women who are hungry for durable internal change, who are ready to do the hard but super rewarding work of transformation.
3. Women who want to live every day with power, love and influence but aren't sure how. You have a clear sense that you were made for a purpose, but life can wear you down and take you off the scent, we want to put you back on it.
2. Women who are hungry for durable internal change, who are ready to do the hard but super rewarding work of transformation.
3. Women who want to live every day with power, love and influence but aren't sure how. You have a clear sense that you were made for a purpose, but life can wear you down and take you off the scent, we want to put you back on it.
In the next 45 minutes I'll show you...
- How to encounter God in a vibrant new way, without checking boxes, swallowing theology you don’t believe, or settling for platitudes on Pinterest.
- How to think and talk about yourself in a new way, even if your mind, mouth and self-image are completely out of control.
- And why that's so critically important to your transformation.
In the next 45 minutes, I'm going to show you:
How to encounter God in vibrant new way, without checking boxes, swallowing theology you don’t believe, or settling for platitudes on Pinterest. Even if you're not sure about all the faith stuff.
I'm also going to show you how to think and talk about yourself in a new way, even if your mind, mouth and self-image are completely out of control.
And I'm going to share with you why that is so critically important to your transformation, and how almost nobody does it.
How to encounter God in vibrant new way, without checking boxes, swallowing theology you don’t believe, or settling for platitudes on Pinterest. Even if you're not sure about all the faith stuff.
I'm also going to show you how to think and talk about yourself in a new way, even if your mind, mouth and self-image are completely out of control.
And I'm going to share with you why that is so critically important to your transformation, and how almost nobody does it.
In the next 45 minutes I'll show you...
- How to confront the fear that has diminished you for years, and chart your way out of the depression and anxiety that comes with aimless living.
- How to combat loneliness and why independence may be your worst enemy.
I'm also going to show you a new, counter-intuitive way to confront the fear that has dogged you for years and help you chart your way out of the depression and anxiety that comes with aimless living.
I'll also share why independence is a wonderful gift, but can be a huge liability and contributor to chronic loneliness.
I'll also share why independence is a wonderful gift, but can be a huge liability and contributor to chronic loneliness.
My promise
to you...
A five-step,
no-fluff strategy to expose who God is, who you are & what you were made to do.
Here's my promise to you:
I'm going to show you a straight-forward, no-nonsense approach to expose who God is to you, who you are to Him and what you were born to do.
Then, how to map and execute that purpose.
So fun right?!
I'm going to show you a straight-forward, no-nonsense approach to expose who God is to you, who you are to Him and what you were born to do.
Then, how to map and execute that purpose.
So fun right?!
House Rules
- This isn't magic. It's discipline.
- Nobody dabbles their way to transformation.
- Our clients are open-minded, teachable, driven and committed.
But first, let's get a couple of things out of the way.
You've got to know that that this isn't magic, it's discipline.
Nobody dabbles their way to transformation.
Our clients are open-minded, teachable, driven and committed to changing themselves so they can go change their world.
Now having said that...Does this sound like you?
You've got to know that that this isn't magic, it's discipline.
Nobody dabbles their way to transformation.
Our clients are open-minded, teachable, driven and committed to changing themselves so they can go change their world.
Now having said that...Does this sound like you?
Does this sound like you?
- Do you feel guilty because you got what you wanted and it's still not enough?
- Do you feel alone and unloved - even if you're surrounded by people all the time?
- Are you dying to use the talent God gave you but you're not sure what it is or how?
- Are you secretly jealous of women who are laser-focused and making a big impact on the world?
Go through bullets;
Does this sound like you?
- Is your faith so dull and crusty, you're not sure it's even worth the effort?
- Has yet another year gone by where all you did was work, eat, sleep repeat?
- Are you putting pressure on your friends, family or career to make you happy, and it's just not working?
- Are you buried under a pile of duty, but unsure your life reflects your values?
Do you secretly worry you'll die with your music still in you?
Do you secretly worry you'll die with your music still in you?
If any of this sounds like you, I have good news. None of these things are your problem. They are all symptoms of your problem.
If any of this sounds like you, I have good news. None of these things are your problem. They are all symptoms of your problem.
The real problem is:
You haven't experienced The Bonfires.
The real problem is You haven't walked through what I call the Five Bonfires of the Soul.
We're gong to talk about them in a minute, but I can tell you, once you've passed through them several things will happen.
We're gong to talk about them in a minute, but I can tell you, once you've passed through them several things will happen.
Once You Pass Through them...
- You'll know how to access & enjoy the deep soul-stirring love of God.
- Your confidence in yourself & your major life purpose will grow.
- You'll remember what it's like to be proud of yourself & excited about the challenge of each new day.
- You'll know how to replicate your achievements again and again.
You'll know how to access & enjoy the deep soul-stirring love of God and you'll find yourself running there every day knowing it's the safest, best, most loving place in the world. It just feels good to be there.
Your confidence in yourself & your major life purpose will grow & that will allow you to tackle big new challenges that never occurred to you to attempt.
You'll remember what it's like to be proud of yourself & excited about your day.
You'll know how to replicate your achievements again and again, tackling whatever huge goals you envision.
Your confidence in yourself & your major life purpose will grow & that will allow you to tackle big new challenges that never occurred to you to attempt.
You'll remember what it's like to be proud of yourself & excited about your day.
You'll know how to replicate your achievements again and again, tackling whatever huge goals you envision.
Photo by Catherine McMahon
Once you pass through them...
- Your relationships at home & work will start to be fun again.
- People will ask why you're different & you'll tell them.
- You will know in your bones that you & God are co-creating your life.
- You will begin living as a woman of power, love & influence.
Your relationships at home & work will start to be fun again, as you take the pressure off everybody to make you happy because you know it's not their job. It's yours.
People will ask why you're different & you'll tell them. You will even find other women asking you to mentor them because you have something working in your life that they want. The cool thing is that you will do it. You will send that elevator back down to pick up more women.
You will know in your bones that you & God are co-creating your life and nothing you can dream of is impossible to you.
You will finally live as a woman of power, love & influence. and know that each day you are here is making the world better.
But before we go any further, let me explain who I am and how I know...
People will ask why you're different & you'll tell them. You will even find other women asking you to mentor them because you have something working in your life that they want. The cool thing is that you will do it. You will send that elevator back down to pick up more women.
You will know in your bones that you & God are co-creating your life and nothing you can dream of is impossible to you.
You will finally live as a woman of power, love & influence. and know that each day you are here is making the world better.
But before we go any further, let me explain who I am and how I know...
Photo by Catherine McMahon
- I'm a Certified Professional Life Coach.
- I run private retreats in Europe & the US for women working in crisis & humanitarian zones.
- I've coached hundreds of women, all over the world, on identity & life purpose.
- My first book is scheduled for release Summer 2018.
Go through bullets.
But it wasn't always like this for me. At age 37 I stood on my back porch screaming into the wind. WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?
I’d just had a disastrous miscarriage, I felt betrayed by the church that I was trying hard to a part of and lonelier than I’d ever been. The political/ religious culture wars were raging in America and I was so mad at Christians that starting driving down the freeway I winged all my Christian teaching cds out the window like little silver Frisbees.
This went on for years - and I walked around telling everybody my sad story - staying bitter and lost.
Minus the child, I had everything I said I wanted yet I was miserable and depressed and woke up every day with no idea which direction to point my feet..
One day I just had enough and decided to get a little bit more humble, consider that I was my own worst enemy. I decided to suspend all my snark, disbelief and post-modern liberal thinking and read the Bible -
for the first time.
Doing so sent me through the bonfires. Walking through them, I discovered the path to becoming a woman of power, love and influence, that today people ask me to speak and teach on. That transformation is what I want to share with you.
But it wasn't always like this for me. At age 37 I stood on my back porch screaming into the wind. WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?
I’d just had a disastrous miscarriage, I felt betrayed by the church that I was trying hard to a part of and lonelier than I’d ever been. The political/ religious culture wars were raging in America and I was so mad at Christians that starting driving down the freeway I winged all my Christian teaching cds out the window like little silver Frisbees.
This went on for years - and I walked around telling everybody my sad story - staying bitter and lost.
Minus the child, I had everything I said I wanted yet I was miserable and depressed and woke up every day with no idea which direction to point my feet..
One day I just had enough and decided to get a little bit more humble, consider that I was my own worst enemy. I decided to suspend all my snark, disbelief and post-modern liberal thinking and read the Bible -
for the first time.
Doing so sent me through the bonfires. Walking through them, I discovered the path to becoming a woman of power, love and influence, that today people ask me to speak and teach on. That transformation is what I want to share with you.
The Five Bonfires
Just as fire refines gold....
There are five fires you must bravely and intentionally walk through to get out of your rut & into your major life purpose.
I'm not going to lie it can be painful as old habits, old thinking, old ways of being in the world burn up like the useless chaff they are, but what's left behind is the pure you.
And that's what we're after. So I'm going to walk you through.
There are five fires you must bravely and intentionally walk through to get out of your rut & into your major life purpose.
I'm not going to lie it can be painful as old habits, old thinking, old ways of being in the world burn up like the useless chaff they are, but what's left behind is the pure you.
And that's what we're after. So I'm going to walk you through.
Bonfire One
It's Not You. It's Your House.
Look around you. The condition of your house can very accurately reflect the condition of your mind.
Is it messy? Crowded. Newspapers and toys all over the floor? Did you spend an extra 15 this morning looking for your spanx? Did you just sigh and feel overwhelmed at the thought of your house? Like it's one more mess you have to clean up.
Good news, bad news...If you want to become a woman of power, love and influence and live your life on purpose. You do.
If you want to live differently than everybody else does, you will have to do things differently.
For Americans in particular, a nation of major consumers, this means getting rid of years or sometimes decades of physical clutter, which is keeping you in state of eternal procrastination. Stepping over and around stuff you don't even see anymore.
Most people don't want to clear their spaces because it because it forces us to reckon with how much money we have spent on useless stsuff we don't want. Which then prompts question, why did I buy it in the first place?
The good news, perhaps the best news is that cleaning up your physical house starts a domino effect through other places too, like your mind. When your physical space clears up, it leaves you extra time that you can use for better things like clearing up your mental space and isn't that more important than just looking for keys or figuring out what to wear.
The first bonfire is disposing in a sensible and liberating way of the physical and mental clutter that keeps you frazzled, frustrated and blocked.
Is it messy? Crowded. Newspapers and toys all over the floor? Did you spend an extra 15 this morning looking for your spanx? Did you just sigh and feel overwhelmed at the thought of your house? Like it's one more mess you have to clean up.
Good news, bad news...If you want to become a woman of power, love and influence and live your life on purpose. You do.
If you want to live differently than everybody else does, you will have to do things differently.
For Americans in particular, a nation of major consumers, this means getting rid of years or sometimes decades of physical clutter, which is keeping you in state of eternal procrastination. Stepping over and around stuff you don't even see anymore.
Most people don't want to clear their spaces because it because it forces us to reckon with how much money we have spent on useless stsuff we don't want. Which then prompts question, why did I buy it in the first place?
The good news, perhaps the best news is that cleaning up your physical house starts a domino effect through other places too, like your mind. When your physical space clears up, it leaves you extra time that you can use for better things like clearing up your mental space and isn't that more important than just looking for keys or figuring out what to wear.
The first bonfire is disposing in a sensible and liberating way of the physical and mental clutter that keeps you frazzled, frustrated and blocked.
New Wine
- Putting something new into something old ruins both.
- You don't need to be more organized, you need to get rid of your stuff because you're drowning in it.
- Living in clutter steals a thousand little minutes you could spend transforming your life.
- Don't organize it. Be rid of it.
You can join us on this journey to transformation but if you create this amazing new plan, wherever will you put it?
- Putting something new into something old ruins both. That's why you've got to clear your physical house first.
In this case, the Container Store and Costco are your enemies.
- You don't need to be more organized or stocked up for the apocalypse, you need to get rid of your stuff because you're drowning in it.
- Living in clutter steals a thousand little minutes you could spend transforming your life.
Essentially clutter is delayed decision making. Making us eternal procrastinators. That feels good to nobody.
- Putting something new into something old ruins both. That's why you've got to clear your physical house first.
In this case, the Container Store and Costco are your enemies.
- You don't need to be more organized or stocked up for the apocalypse, you need to get rid of your stuff because you're drowning in it.
- Living in clutter steals a thousand little minutes you could spend transforming your life.
Essentially clutter is delayed decision making. Making us eternal procrastinators. That feels good to nobody.
New Mind
- You're not as busy as you think you are. Learn how to wait and notice.
- Stop being a zombie in the grocery store line. Meditate instead.
- If you want a powerful life, you have to live and behave differently.
- Envision ways to serve someone nearby. Decide how your best self would behave upon arriving home.
Disciplining your mental space is critical too. Just like your house, your busy cluttered mind makes you think all tasks are equally weighted, they are not.
But you're so busy running around managing everything, you can't take a minute to weigh and measure, taking stock of your thoughts - to discover which are worth keeping.
-The truth is you are not as busy as you think you are. When you have a spare, unbooked moment what do you do with it? if you're like most people, you grab your phone.
-The grocery store line is full of zombies.
When that spare moment happens, don't grab your phone. Mediate instead.
You want to be different, want to be a woman of power love and influence, you've got to live different.
Try this next time: Envision the woman you want to be when you get home or back to the office. Pick three words to describe it. Focus on your breath and repeat those three words, as you exhale.
Zombies definitely don't breathe and visualize greatness. Do you see why this bonfire will change your trajectory?
But you're so busy running around managing everything, you can't take a minute to weigh and measure, taking stock of your thoughts - to discover which are worth keeping.
-The truth is you are not as busy as you think you are. When you have a spare, unbooked moment what do you do with it? if you're like most people, you grab your phone.
-The grocery store line is full of zombies.
When that spare moment happens, don't grab your phone. Mediate instead.
You want to be different, want to be a woman of power love and influence, you've got to live different.
Try this next time: Envision the woman you want to be when you get home or back to the office. Pick three words to describe it. Focus on your breath and repeat those three words, as you exhale.
Zombies definitely don't breathe and visualize greatness. Do you see why this bonfire will change your trajectory?
Bonfire Two
Stop Mixing Puzzle Pieces
You've spent years, decades maybe dabbling in different programs, theologies, taking pieces from a bunch of different puzzles and trying to fit them together.
My question is, how well is that working?
The second bonfire you must walk through to become a woman of power, love & influence is deciding that maybe what's been lacking all along is commitment to one True North.
It takes humility to admit you don't know your way out of the woods, and you could really use one reliable True North by which to orient your compass. Something you can believe in and commit to.
My question is, how well is that working?
The second bonfire you must walk through to become a woman of power, love & influence is deciding that maybe what's been lacking all along is commitment to one True North.
It takes humility to admit you don't know your way out of the woods, and you could really use one reliable True North by which to orient your compass. Something you can believe in and commit to.
Who/What is God?
- You have a direction problem or you wouldn't be here.
- People say all the time: All answers lie within - That can't be true because what do you do when you are lost, miserable, terrified?
- Your map and compass will tell you a lot, once you've oriented them to an external and reliable True North.
Did you know that nearly a quarter of adults in the US claim none as their religious affiliation.
I get that, I was one of them. Just watch the news for five minutes and see what passes for religious devotion these days - no wonder people are looking for better puzzle pieces.
For years I cobbled together the happy Jesus bits, mixed them a little New Age stuff, there was probably a statues and candles and mantras in there.
In short, I was hoping for everything, love, joy, peace, patience, kndness, purpose, success, but and committing to nothing. The results were unsurprising.
What about you? Who/What is God to you? What are you committed to?
-You have a direction problem or you wouldn't be here watching. You're looking for something, and I applaud the effort because you probably already know you cannot cherry pick your way to transformation.
- People say all the time: All answers lie within - That can't be true because when you really don't know what to do, having some guidance from a couple-thousand year old text that's been used by millions and millions of people can be really useful, but it's a good idea to get the concepts on board before your boat is sinking. Before the divorce. Before the diagnosis.
- Your own map and compass will tell you a lot, once you've oriented them to an external and reliable True North. I agree Maybe on a sunny day the map is enough because you can look around identify the peaks and match them up. But what about the rainy days, when everything is socked in a deep wet gray. What then?
Map, compass and True North will get you out of the woods.
I get that, I was one of them. Just watch the news for five minutes and see what passes for religious devotion these days - no wonder people are looking for better puzzle pieces.
For years I cobbled together the happy Jesus bits, mixed them a little New Age stuff, there was probably a statues and candles and mantras in there.
In short, I was hoping for everything, love, joy, peace, patience, kndness, purpose, success, but and committing to nothing. The results were unsurprising.
What about you? Who/What is God to you? What are you committed to?
-You have a direction problem or you wouldn't be here watching. You're looking for something, and I applaud the effort because you probably already know you cannot cherry pick your way to transformation.
- People say all the time: All answers lie within - That can't be true because when you really don't know what to do, having some guidance from a couple-thousand year old text that's been used by millions and millions of people can be really useful, but it's a good idea to get the concepts on board before your boat is sinking. Before the divorce. Before the diagnosis.
- Your own map and compass will tell you a lot, once you've oriented them to an external and reliable True North. I agree Maybe on a sunny day the map is enough because you can look around identify the peaks and match them up. But what about the rainy days, when everything is socked in a deep wet gray. What then?
Map, compass and True North will get you out of the woods.
So Nail It Down.
- Find documents that are time-worn, tested and external. Test them yourself.
- Suspend disbelief, cynicism long enough to let the texts speak.
- Humility is your friend.
- You're smart, but you're not smarter than the Creator of the Universe.
- To find that true North, you've got to find documents that are time-worn, tested and external. Read them faithfully, test them yourself. You can only stand on someone else's faith for so long before you start to doubt it. Getting your own is critical to setting your personal identity.
It's not an easy, process but it shouldn't be. Who am I and why am I here are fundamental human quandries.
-If you suspend you disbelief, cynicism long enough to let the texts speak for themselves, you might be surprised. We humans are smart but over the course of history we've proven that we're not that smart.
-Humility in the process is a trusted friend. The smartest scientists on the planet only understand about 4% of the universe.
- You're smart, but you're not smarter than the Creator of the Universe.
Let's leave some room for mystery shall we?
It's not an easy, process but it shouldn't be. Who am I and why am I here are fundamental human quandries.
-If you suspend you disbelief, cynicism long enough to let the texts speak for themselves, you might be surprised. We humans are smart but over the course of history we've proven that we're not that smart.
-Humility in the process is a trusted friend. The smartest scientists on the planet only understand about 4% of the universe.
- You're smart, but you're not smarter than the Creator of the Universe.
Let's leave some room for mystery shall we?
I am a Jesus-Gal.
- I went through this fire myself, & I settled on the life & example of Jesus. He is my True North. You choose yours.
- Jesus was not a jerk. Some of his followers are. So what? Don't let it mess you up.
- He had an amazing personality, he treasured women & people flocked to him wherever he went.
Here's what you need to know:
- I went through this fire myself, I settled on the life & example of Jesus. He is my True North. You get to choose yours. Contrary to popular belief, nobody can really choose your belief system for you. Our culture and our families of origin try, but each and every one of us gets to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling. I chose Jesus.
- Jesus was not a jerk. Some of his followers are. So what? Don't let it mess you up. You're going to find jerks in every faith tradition and among atheists. That's because Humans can be sublime and beautiful and they can be heartless, selfish and cruel. Jesus came here to address that.
- When I read the Bible like I meant it, I discovered that Jesus actually had an amazing personality, he treasured women & people (outcasts in particular) flocked to him wherever he went.. And Don't forget The religious and political leaders of the day killed him for it.
So buckle down. Educate yourself and who or what you choose is up to you, but it's got to be sturdy enough to support your transformation.
Choose wisely.
That make sense?
- I went through this fire myself, I settled on the life & example of Jesus. He is my True North. You get to choose yours. Contrary to popular belief, nobody can really choose your belief system for you. Our culture and our families of origin try, but each and every one of us gets to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling. I chose Jesus.
- Jesus was not a jerk. Some of his followers are. So what? Don't let it mess you up. You're going to find jerks in every faith tradition and among atheists. That's because Humans can be sublime and beautiful and they can be heartless, selfish and cruel. Jesus came here to address that.
- When I read the Bible like I meant it, I discovered that Jesus actually had an amazing personality, he treasured women & people (outcasts in particular) flocked to him wherever he went.. And Don't forget The religious and political leaders of the day killed him for it.
So buckle down. Educate yourself and who or what you choose is up to you, but it's got to be sturdy enough to support your transformation.
Choose wisely.
That make sense?
Bonfire Three
The Voices Are Lying.
Now this is where things get really fun.
Sometimes when I'm on an airplane, and my seatmate strikes up a conversation by asking me what I do. I will say:
I'm a child of God.
Their reaction is usually priceless, but the conversations that ensue are usually rich and involve hugging.
See I answer the question with my identity not with my role as a life purpose coach for women
And people think I'm nuts, but I don't care, because I'd rather answer with the truth, as defined by my True North, than by my role, my current emotions (which on planes is often cranky) or my job.
People think I'm nuts because we are used to describing ourselves with other much cheaper labels:
I'm a hot mess.
I'm depressed.
I'm nobody.
I'm just a mom. (Oh that one makes me crazy.)
I"m just an accountant.
I'm an alcoholic.
Sometimes when I'm on an airplane, and my seatmate strikes up a conversation by asking me what I do. I will say:
I'm a child of God.
Their reaction is usually priceless, but the conversations that ensue are usually rich and involve hugging.
See I answer the question with my identity not with my role as a life purpose coach for women
And people think I'm nuts, but I don't care, because I'd rather answer with the truth, as defined by my True North, than by my role, my current emotions (which on planes is often cranky) or my job.
People think I'm nuts because we are used to describing ourselves with other much cheaper labels:
I'm a hot mess.
I'm depressed.
I'm nobody.
I'm just a mom. (Oh that one makes me crazy.)
I"m just an accountant.
I'm an alcoholic.
Dismentaling
- Evaluating the things you've been told your whole life. Measuring them against your new True North.
- Nicole learned that her feminine self is not a complicated liability to be managed. It's half of God's divine character.
- Vulnerability is the new black. Showing up without your preferred self, is a fearsome and powerful exercise.
There's a process I call Dismentaling.
It requires you to challenge the voices in your head. because whoever they are or wherever they came from are usually wrong or lying to you. Not all of them are malicious, but some of them are.
So it's wise to start
Evaluating the things you've been told your whole life. Measuring them against your new True North.
Let me tell you about one of my clients I'll call her NIcole.
She the oldest girl of a dozen kids. She’s only 22 guess what she’s been doing with most of her life? Raising Kids.
- She called me the other day to say for the first time she believes she can do more than become a wife and mother. And that her feminine self is not complicated or a liability, but a powerful piece of the divine nature.
That awareness has changed her decision making and trajectory. Her life is proceeding according to a different path because she has a new awareness of who she is and what she’s capable of.
How cool is that?
One other thing required for passing through this bonfire. Vulnerability.
God Bless Brene Brown for making Vulnerability the new black. Your preferred self is the person you believe the world would rather see. She's smarter, more worldly, more interesting, whatever. The problem is, and sometimes you don't know this, she's also see-through and forgettable.
Showing up as your real self, flaws and all, putting yourself out there is a fearsome and powerful approach.
It requires you to challenge the voices in your head. because whoever they are or wherever they came from are usually wrong or lying to you. Not all of them are malicious, but some of them are.
So it's wise to start
Evaluating the things you've been told your whole life. Measuring them against your new True North.
Let me tell you about one of my clients I'll call her NIcole.
She the oldest girl of a dozen kids. She’s only 22 guess what she’s been doing with most of her life? Raising Kids.
- She called me the other day to say for the first time she believes she can do more than become a wife and mother. And that her feminine self is not complicated or a liability, but a powerful piece of the divine nature.
That awareness has changed her decision making and trajectory. Her life is proceeding according to a different path because she has a new awareness of who she is and what she’s capable of.
How cool is that?
One other thing required for passing through this bonfire. Vulnerability.
God Bless Brene Brown for making Vulnerability the new black. Your preferred self is the person you believe the world would rather see. She's smarter, more worldly, more interesting, whatever. The problem is, and sometimes you don't know this, she's also see-through and forgettable.
Showing up as your real self, flaws and all, putting yourself out there is a fearsome and powerful approach.
Speak Who You Are
- Agree with God's definition of you and say it out loud, a lot.
- Emotions are an instinct, feelings are a choice. Stop talking about how you feel all the time. Your feelings lie all the time.
- Depression & anxiety are real, but they might not always be what you think.
Once you've dismentaled and left all the old stuff behind, including your flimsy, silly preferred self, it's important to fill that vacuum with something. Don't just leave it wide open.
-Agree with God's definition of you and say it out loud, a lot Ie: Child of God on an airplane.
This is the beating red heart of Girl Catch Fire the hottest part of all five bonfires, learning to agree with what your True North says about who you are and getting that out of your mouth, will change the way you show up to everything .
Consider it for a minute.
Oh yah, I'm just a mom and I'm a hot mess vs. I am precious and beloved daughter of the most high King.
Which one is the woman of power love and influence?
The second thing you need to know is something Brendon Burchard says.
-Emotions are an instinct. Feelings are an interpretation of the emotion. For example, you might get angry when someone cuts you off in traffic but chasing them down and shooting them the bird and talking about horrible drivers all day at work is an interpretation and a choice. In short, anger is an emotion, bitterness is a choice.
Stop talking about your emotions all the time. Stop letting them control you. Just acknowledge them and choose your response instead.
Last thing - I know the depression is real and it's dogging many of you. Believing that your life doesn't matter much is depressing. However, is there a possiblity
-Depression & anxiety are real mental health issues, but they might not always be what you think. From time to time they can be a little bit useful.
Maybe it's your soul's way of getting your attention, signaling that something is dying. Maybe it's even something that needs to die and you're running around panicked in the ICU trying to keep it alive.
I'm not saying this is true for everything depression related, but in nature there is no transformation that is not proceeded by death. Caterpillars and seeds spring to mind. Think about it. All of those conditions are periods of time spent in the dark, alone and cold.
The caterpillar has no idea about the wings, it just knows it's time to make a cocoon.
Is your depression telling you something similar? It was the case for me.
-Agree with God's definition of you and say it out loud, a lot Ie: Child of God on an airplane.
This is the beating red heart of Girl Catch Fire the hottest part of all five bonfires, learning to agree with what your True North says about who you are and getting that out of your mouth, will change the way you show up to everything .
Consider it for a minute.
Oh yah, I'm just a mom and I'm a hot mess vs. I am precious and beloved daughter of the most high King.
Which one is the woman of power love and influence?
The second thing you need to know is something Brendon Burchard says.
-Emotions are an instinct. Feelings are an interpretation of the emotion. For example, you might get angry when someone cuts you off in traffic but chasing them down and shooting them the bird and talking about horrible drivers all day at work is an interpretation and a choice. In short, anger is an emotion, bitterness is a choice.
Stop talking about your emotions all the time. Stop letting them control you. Just acknowledge them and choose your response instead.
Last thing - I know the depression is real and it's dogging many of you. Believing that your life doesn't matter much is depressing. However, is there a possiblity
-Depression & anxiety are real mental health issues, but they might not always be what you think. From time to time they can be a little bit useful.
Maybe it's your soul's way of getting your attention, signaling that something is dying. Maybe it's even something that needs to die and you're running around panicked in the ICU trying to keep it alive.
I'm not saying this is true for everything depression related, but in nature there is no transformation that is not proceeded by death. Caterpillars and seeds spring to mind. Think about it. All of those conditions are periods of time spent in the dark, alone and cold.
The caterpillar has no idea about the wings, it just knows it's time to make a cocoon.
Is your depression telling you something similar? It was the case for me.
Quick Recap
- It's Not You. It's Your House.
- Stop Mixing Puzzle Pieces.
- The Voices Are Lying
Let's just go through a quick recap shall we?
Bonfire One:
2
3
Still with me? Let's move on to Number 4.
Bonfire One:
2
3
Still with me? Let's move on to Number 4.
Bonfire Four
Backtalk That Fear
Fear is such a normal state of mind for most of us, we have no idea what it is to live without it.
If you know me, it might be hard to believe but fear has been the controlling narrative of my entire life.
And None of the strategy I was taught for defeating it ever worked for me.
But I found one that does and I happen to already be great at it.
Talking Back!
Let's get into Bonfire Four.
If you know me, it might be hard to believe but fear has been the controlling narrative of my entire life.
And None of the strategy I was taught for defeating it ever worked for me.
But I found one that does and I happen to already be great at it.
Talking Back!
Let's get into Bonfire Four.
Backtalk that Fear
- Fear controls you in ways you think are "normal." Time to challenge it.
- "Do it afraid" is terrible advice (or at least incomplete.)
- Shine a bright light on that fear, then run right at it shouting the truth about you as defined by your True North!
- Remember Goliath isn't obedient to King David. Goliath is dead.
I don't know about religious paths but the words do not be afraid appear in the Bible hundreds of times, said by dozens of people in many different context.
It doesn't say there's nothing ot fear, it says Don't fear.
- Fear controls you in ways you think are "normal." Time to challenge it.
- "Do it afraid" is terrible advice (or at least incomplete.)
Running from fear or even doing something in spite of it doesn’t really work. People say all the time to do it while your knees shake, well that just makes you shake when you speak. There’s a better way.
- Shine a bright light on that fear, talk about it, tell some people who love you about it. Then run right at it as hard as you can shouting the truth about you as defined by your True North!
Does that sound crazy? It shouldn't. Most people know the story of David and Goliath.
Tell it.
- Remember Goliath isn't obedient to King David. Goliath is dead.
It doesn't say there's nothing ot fear, it says Don't fear.
- Fear controls you in ways you think are "normal." Time to challenge it.
- "Do it afraid" is terrible advice (or at least incomplete.)
Running from fear or even doing something in spite of it doesn’t really work. People say all the time to do it while your knees shake, well that just makes you shake when you speak. There’s a better way.
- Shine a bright light on that fear, talk about it, tell some people who love you about it. Then run right at it as hard as you can shouting the truth about you as defined by your True North!
Does that sound crazy? It shouldn't. Most people know the story of David and Goliath.
Tell it.
- Remember Goliath isn't obedient to King David. Goliath is dead.
Backtalk that Fear
- Stop eating everything you're fed. Test everything against your True North.
- When the gremlins get loud, listen to them. Then throw that them in jail and replace their message with a better one.
- Try the STOPP method.
On top of that.
- Stop eating everything you're fed. Test it against your True North.
This doubles back on dismentaling. Most of us have what Brene Brown and others call Gremlins - voices in your head that were originally designed to protect you but now keep you small and afraid.
- When the gremlins get loud, listen to them. Then throw that them in jail and replace whatever message they're giving you with a better one - one that serves you toward your transformation.
I am worthy.
I am capable of this hard thing.
I am already enough.
Do you see how that works? Here's a little acronym to help you remember how to do it.
-Try the STOPP method.
Explain STOPP
Last bonfire...You ready?
- Stop eating everything you're fed. Test it against your True North.
This doubles back on dismentaling. Most of us have what Brene Brown and others call Gremlins - voices in your head that were originally designed to protect you but now keep you small and afraid.
- When the gremlins get loud, listen to them. Then throw that them in jail and replace whatever message they're giving you with a better one - one that serves you toward your transformation.
I am worthy.
I am capable of this hard thing.
I am already enough.
Do you see how that works? Here's a little acronym to help you remember how to do it.
-Try the STOPP method.
Explain STOPP
Last bonfire...You ready?
Bonfire Five
Invest In Your Vision
Here's the deal Ladies.
Do what you've always done, get what you've always gotten.
you're here today because you're sick and tired of drifting aimlessly through your life and you want to become a woman of power, love and influence who is using her gifts to impact your world.
I get that.
So why not do something, everything even, differently this year?
Why not make this year you radically change your trajectory?
Do what you've always done, get what you've always gotten.
you're here today because you're sick and tired of drifting aimlessly through your life and you want to become a woman of power, love and influence who is using her gifts to impact your world.
I get that.
So why not do something, everything even, differently this year?
Why not make this year you radically change your trajectory?
Invest in Your Vision
- Your life is a reflection of what you believe. You can create something different.
- There are three fears holding the human race hostage: Failure. Rejection and Unworthiness.
- Plus, the vision is shy. You'll have to tease it out.
- Look at your life right now, it’s an exact reflection of what you believe – who you are and what you’re worth.
Maybe you think that’s not fair because I don’t know your circumstances, that’s right I don’t. Suffering is real and life’s totally unfair - one of my Firegirls - Shelby - has a toddler with cancer and she is loving and serving everybody around her, keeping her mind and will strong, as she walks through that incredibly brutal diagnosis with her daughter.
What reasons do you give yourself for the condition of your life? You were sexually abused? You grew up poor? You couldn't go to college?
It's absolutely true that Some people were born on third base, some were born 10 miles from the stadium, the question is what are you going to do about it?
If you want a different result, you have to do something different than what you’ve been doing. You must invest your time, energy and resources into getting it. Don’t settle and just be like everyone else.
-There are three fears holding the human race hostage: Failure. Rejection and Unworthiness. Most of time you shrink back and don't invest in your vision for your life, it's due to one of those three. There I called it out. Want some help with it?
-The vision you have for your life is shy, because it's been taught to hide behind the three major human fear. You'll have to tease it out. Who will you get to help youj?
Maybe you think that’s not fair because I don’t know your circumstances, that’s right I don’t. Suffering is real and life’s totally unfair - one of my Firegirls - Shelby - has a toddler with cancer and she is loving and serving everybody around her, keeping her mind and will strong, as she walks through that incredibly brutal diagnosis with her daughter.
What reasons do you give yourself for the condition of your life? You were sexually abused? You grew up poor? You couldn't go to college?
It's absolutely true that Some people were born on third base, some were born 10 miles from the stadium, the question is what are you going to do about it?
If you want a different result, you have to do something different than what you’ve been doing. You must invest your time, energy and resources into getting it. Don’t settle and just be like everyone else.
-There are three fears holding the human race hostage: Failure. Rejection and Unworthiness. Most of time you shrink back and don't invest in your vision for your life, it's due to one of those three. There I called it out. Want some help with it?
-The vision you have for your life is shy, because it's been taught to hide behind the three major human fear. You'll have to tease it out. Who will you get to help youj?
Invest in Your Vision
- Get someone on your side, who is 100% invested in your success.
- That person may not be in your family. Change is scary for people who love you. Do it anyway.
- Worms make cocoons and stay there a while. You might have to do the same.
- Find a tree with other cocoons. Talk to some butterflies. They get it.
-To do something you've never done, you need to Get someone on your side, who is 100% invested in your success.
-The truth is That person may not be in your family. Change is scary for people who love you. They don't want you to fail get hurt, or change so much it forces change on them. That’s why people freak out at mid-life, they’ve spent most of their lives showing up as they’re expected to and now they wonder if what they're doing aligns with their values.
-It takes courage to get into the cocoon and die to all the wormy stuff, but what might your wings look like when you're done? Maybe you'll inspire others get their wings on.
- It's critical to Get in a tree with other cocoons. They get it what you're going through. the metaphor fail there a bit, but as you transform it's so important to be vulneralb e
-The truth is That person may not be in your family. Change is scary for people who love you. They don't want you to fail get hurt, or change so much it forces change on them. That’s why people freak out at mid-life, they’ve spent most of their lives showing up as they’re expected to and now they wonder if what they're doing aligns with their values.
-It takes courage to get into the cocoon and die to all the wormy stuff, but what might your wings look like when you're done? Maybe you'll inspire others get their wings on.
- It's critical to Get in a tree with other cocoons. They get it what you're going through. the metaphor fail there a bit, but as you transform it's so important to be vulneralb e
Map Your Vision
- What's the secret thing?
- What makes your heart beat fast?
- What is the first, inspired, intelligent action you can take toward that thing?
- Don't worry about the end-game. Just get on the scent and start chasing it.
Finally, this is where the nuts and bolts come in. This is where having a guide matters. Someone who asks the questions nobody asks you and then listens not just to the answers, but to the things you are not saying.
Questions like
1
2
3
So you want to reform the foster care system in America, cool, it ineeds it. Does the enormity of that mission make you want to lie down and cry. Of course it does.
-Don't worry about the end-game. Just get on the scent and start chasing it. That's where are the other disciplines you've cultivated come to assist you. Your God. Your Mind Your Mouth. Your Support!
As Go
Questions like
1
2
3
So you want to reform the foster care system in America, cool, it ineeds it. Does the enormity of that mission make you want to lie down and cry. Of course it does.
-Don't worry about the end-game. Just get on the scent and start chasing it. That's where are the other disciplines you've cultivated come to assist you. Your God. Your Mind Your Mouth. Your Support!
As Go
"The moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. I learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets:
Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!" - W.H. Murray
Finally, this is where the nuts and bolts come in. This is where having a guide matters. Someone who asks the questions nobody asks you and then listens not just to the answers, but to the things you are not saying.
Questions like
1
2
3
So you want to reform the foster care system in America, cool, it ineeds it. Does the enormity of that mission make you want to lie down and cry. Of course it does.
-Don't worry about the end-game. Just get on the scent and start chasing it. That's where are the other disciplines you've cultivated come to assist you. Your God. Your Mind Your Mouth. Your Support!
As Go
Questions like
1
2
3
So you want to reform the foster care system in America, cool, it ineeds it. Does the enormity of that mission make you want to lie down and cry. Of course it does.
-Don't worry about the end-game. Just get on the scent and start chasing it. That's where are the other disciplines you've cultivated come to assist you. Your God. Your Mind Your Mouth. Your Support!
As Go
Who is your champion?
Today I promised to show you...
- How to encounter God in a vibrant new way without checking boxes, swallowing theology you don't believe or settling for platitudes on Pinterest.
- How to think and talk about yourself in a new way, even if your mind, mouth and self-image are completely out of control.
Photo by miuenski
I also promised to show you...
- How to confront fear and chart your way out of the depression and anxiety that aimless living produces.
- How to combat loneliness and why independence can be your worst enemy.
- A five-step strategy to help you catch fire and become a woman of power, love and influence.
Photo by miuenski
Here's what you need to remember...
- It's Not You. It's Your House.
- Stop Mixing Puzzle Pieces.
- The Voices Are Lying.
- Backtalk Your Fear.
- Invest in your vision.
Photo by miuenski
Now
You
Have
a Choice.
You can keep slapping bandaids on this problem, buying self-help books and making new years resolutions you know will evaporate by February.
You can watch another year go by while others rock the world with their power, love and influence. You can live with the depression and frustration that comes with aimless living and endless duty that’s doesn’t align with your values and major life purpose, and you can keep dabbling in mysterious, cherry-picked faith practices, crossing your fingers something works.
Or If you want to wake up and jump out of bed every day on fire, living in the deep power, love and influence that other women admire, knowing you are well-loved by God AND built for a purpose that uses the talent God gave you to change yourself and the world
Then here's what I have for you.
You can watch another year go by while others rock the world with their power, love and influence. You can live with the depression and frustration that comes with aimless living and endless duty that’s doesn’t align with your values and major life purpose, and you can keep dabbling in mysterious, cherry-picked faith practices, crossing your fingers something works.
Or If you want to wake up and jump out of bed every day on fire, living in the deep power, love and influence that other women admire, knowing you are well-loved by God AND built for a purpose that uses the talent God gave you to change yourself and the world
Then here's what I have for you.
How Can I Help?
- I have set aside time in the next 48 hours to speak to you about how you can apply these ideas to your life starting today.
- Whatever your specific challenge, we've seen it and know how to overcome it.
Photo by © gillianvilla
How Can I Help?
- I will work with you to craft a step-by-step game plan, so you too can learn how to be a woman of power, love and influence, one who knows and executes her major life purpose.
- And the cost is absolutely FREE.
- However...
a) However, to qualify for this limited time offer…
You absolutely have to be a couple of things because this offer is not for everybody)
You absolutely have to be a couple of things because this offer is not for everybody)
Photo by © gillianvilla
You Must Be...
- COMMITTED to a life of faith or at least curious about the possibility.
- HUNGRY for durable , internal change and energized by the hard work of transformation.
- WILLING to leverage your time, energy and resources.
- DETERMINED to leave the world better than you found it.
Photo by © gillianvilla
Why am I doing this?
- To build an army of women who know there is work to be done that only they can do. I want to help them get that work out in the world.
- As you can imagine, I help my clients with this stuff every day. So if we get on the phone and like each other, maybe we can partner to help you get out of your rut and into your major life purpose.
Frankly, I'm being a little selfish when I say there are two reasons.
-I'm doing this to build an army of women who know there is work to be done on this planet that only they can do. We believe that at Girl Catch Fire. You were absolutely put here for a purpose and we want to help you get that work out in the world. My life purpose in life is to help you discern and execute yours.
And two
-As you can imagine, I help my clients with this stuff every day. So if we get on the phone and like each other, maybe we can partner to help you get out of that rut and into your major life purpose.
-I'm doing this to build an army of women who know there is work to be done on this planet that only they can do. We believe that at Girl Catch Fire. You were absolutely put here for a purpose and we want to help you get that work out in the world. My life purpose in life is to help you discern and execute yours.
And two
-As you can imagine, I help my clients with this stuff every day. So if we get on the phone and like each other, maybe we can partner to help you get out of that rut and into your major life purpose.
Photo by © gillianvilla
https://meetme.so/ErinKirk
Space is very limited. Sign up now.
So, to book your free session, with me please click the link below this screen or visit: {Insert link}
i) You will be taken to our scheduler, book a time that works for you, fill out the form to give us a little background and get ready to answer questions that nobody ever asks. Big questions, important questions about who you are and what you are doing with your one wild and precious life.
ii) One last thing before we go, one of my clients is a financial analyst, she told me her dream is to build financial literacy programs for kids in poor neighborhoods, to break the cycle of poor financial decision making that perpetuates the cycle of poverty. She’s still a financial analyst but she’s working toward her program in her local community. How cool is that?
i) You will be taken to our scheduler, book a time that works for you, fill out the form to give us a little background and get ready to answer questions that nobody ever asks. Big questions, important questions about who you are and what you are doing with your one wild and precious life.
ii) One last thing before we go, one of my clients is a financial analyst, she told me her dream is to build financial literacy programs for kids in poor neighborhoods, to break the cycle of poor financial decision making that perpetuates the cycle of poverty. She’s still a financial analyst but she’s working toward her program in her local community. How cool is that?
Photo by © gillianvilla
