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Mark Twain

Published on Nov 19, 2015

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PRESENTATION OUTLINE

1.

MARK TWAIN'S HUMOR

By TORI RASMUSSEN
2.

POLITICAL

  • 'Reader, suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of congress, I repeat myself.'
  • "Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it." –Mark Twain
3.

PEOPLE

  • 'Its easier to fool a person than convince them that they've been fooled.'
  • 'God created war so that Americans would learn geography.'
  • 'Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.'
4.

EDUCATION

  • Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.
  • I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
5.

SARCASM

  • I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
  • If you don't read the newspaper, you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed.
6.

FOOLISHNESS

  • Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
  • Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
7.

BIBLICAL

  • Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
  • God create man because he was disappointed in the monkey.
8.

BIBLICAL 2

  • “Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company
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Untitled Slide

10.

WIT

  • Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
  • Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
11.

SATIRE

  • “What’s the use you learning to do right, when it’s troublesome to do right and isn’t no trouble to do wrong, and the wages is just the same?
12.

SATIRE

  • “There warn’t anybody at the church, except maybe a hog or two, for there warn’t any lock on the door, and hogs likes a puncheon floor in summer-time because it’s cool. If you notice, most folks don’t go to church only when they’ve got to; but a hog is different.”
13.

HUMOR

  • Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.
14.

POLITICAL

  • It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.
15.

SMOKING

  • Never smoke more than one cigar at a time.
  • It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake."
16.

WAR

  • According to biographer Kaplan instead of saying "War is hell," he (Twain) said "to hell with war,"
  • After two weeks in the field he had learned more about retreating "than the man that invented retreating."
17.

ABOUT FRANCE

  • It lacks winter, summer, and morals.
  • the French were the connecting link between man and monkey,
18.

FOREINGERS

  • They spell it Vinci and pronounce it Vinchy; foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.
19.

LIVING

  • Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
20.

BIBLIOGRAPHY

21.

BIBLIOGROPHY

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