My family My mother is Paula hill My dad is Justin edgeworth. I have 2 sisters. Kate and Lexi. I also have 4 brothers. Jj, Michael, Dillon,and Nathan. Most of us don't talk but we're still family. We aren't they best family you could ask for but. It's what I got
My friends? I barley have any. Just Avery, Abby, and hailey. They are my happiness, the only people that really matter to me. Especially hailey. She's my sister
Am I struggling? Yes, yes I am. I am struggling with depression and heart break from someone that left me and ruined my life when he promised he wouldn't.
Who is this guy? This guy was Theron Stewart. He was the first guy I ever fell in love with. We talked for 3 years. Adults think it's not real for kids to be in love. Well believe me, it was real..
Me and Theron talked about so much. Where we wanted to live, number of kids, what kind of house we wanted, and where and when we planned to get married.. He was like my bestfriend/ boyfriend/ not boyfriend. But that all ended.
Something happened that I'm not very proud of.. It's the reason he doesn't want me anymore.. I was sexually assaulted by a 23 year old. As soon as I told him.. He was done with me. He tried telling me it was his mom that made us stop talking.. But i know that's not it at all.
He changed his number just because of me. Just me.. That makes me feel great. I didn't even think that he would just stop talking to me. He doesn't even try to get ahold of me or see how I'm doing.. He just left.
This depression had me thinking of suicide.. It had me cutting. It is making my life a living hell.. Everything I do reminds me of him and I hate it.. My life is ruined.
I hate him, I hate him! I feel like I'm never going to be happy again, and everyday it just gets worse and worse I can't miss him anymore. I can't, I dint want to. He never even said goodbye..
It's not just him that's bothering me.. Even though he ruined my life💯 I have other problems. I'm stressing about school. I'm failing because I can't get focused. I'm always thinking about Theron finding someone better. Which was always my worst fear, and it happened.
When I tried to move on, I couldn't.. When I did, the guy just used me. To be honest. I think guys only want me to get something and don't really care about who I am and my feelings. Every time they just get what they want, then leave. When I don't give them what they want they still leave..
I am trying to be a better person and go to church, reading my bible, and doing better things. But it's really difficult when i have a family who fights everyday and dog me everyday when I get home.
Everyday when I come to school I always get asked inappropriate things from who I used to be, they see me from who I was and not who I am now. It hurts every minute of everyday.
Saturday night me, chas, and Sabrina where planning to go to bdubs, but we didn't know that Theron was planning on going to with his friend. We ended up meeting with him and he sat with us and chas made him sit by me, but I was happy to see him even tho everyone said I looked grumpy and that I was PMS. That was the first night in 8 months that we saw eachother. We had the longest hug ever!
Then Sunday on my birthday. The beginning of the day was so boring I thought I was going to be staying home all day and not doing anything. Sabrina ended up texting me asking if I wanted to go to taco tiara with her (which is in Fairfield) so I told Theron that we were going to taco tiara and that he should come and see me for my birthday. At first he said no because his mom could see us, but then when me and Sabrina was there for a little bit he texted me and said he was about to drive by and he did and i got excited!
After he went by me and Sabrina just talked bout him then next thing you know I see him walking inside. He sat down by me and I was so happy! We sat there for a minute, then he asked us if we wanted to ride around in his truck with him and after a little bit of waiting for Sabrina to decide we ended up going. We were just jamming out having so much fun and almost dying a couple times along with Sabrina's concussion. He was singing to me on the cute songs and we tried to find a CD he had that had me and his song on it, but we couldn't find it. We ended up spending like 3 hours riding with him in his truck. I was so happy when he put his hand on my thigh!
Then we had to leave. I was so upset. Then right after he messaged he and said he had to ask me a very important question, I was worried. He called me when I got him, he asked me about the night that everything happened with the man. I told him the truth about everything, I just hope he believes me.
The next night he called me and told me that he couldn't date, that he needed time to straighten his life out then we can try again. So he's gone again.. I'm hurting.. A lot. I thought I had the most important thing in my life back, but I lost it. Again.