We as humans are are subject to numerous varieties of social pains each and every day.

“the term social pain refers to a specific emotion reaction to the perception that one is being excluded from desired relationships or being devalued by desired relationship partners or groups”. An excerpt Geoff McDonald and Mark R. Leary’s article “Why Does Social Exclusion Hurt? The Relationship Between Social and Physical Pain.

Social pain can stem from numerous things including: death of a loved one, rejection, and forced seclusion.

“Social pain is based on the idea that the possibility of being separated from important social entities posed a critical challenge to the survival of our ancestors”.

Even dating back to our far away ancestors, Social exclusion and anxiety has had significant health impacts as well as tainted views of the human mind and world.

After being shunned away numerous times we as humans resort to an introvert state, where nothing can penetrate our steel minds of loneliness and depression.

Happiness starts to fade as we lose hope of fitting in with a certain clique we are eagerly awaiting acceptance of.

“We propose that painful feelings triggered by social exclusion also provide a mechanism useful for learning effective approach/avoidance regulation to avoid exclusion. People who reject, exclude or ignore an individual are not likely to be safe or stable sources of support for that person, in fact they may be inclined to cause harm to that person”.


People who are exposed to constant exclusion might develop a coping mechanism that will help them form beneficial bonds with positive people. Whereas the excluders will be subject to losing companions due to their negligence and lack of respect for another peer. In other words, the excluded person will be more stable than the excluder in the long run.


However, social isolation can oftentimes result in psychological distress disorders as the person ages naturally over time.

“Overall, we propose that social pain hurts because social inclusion was and is key for survival”.

We as humans have an instinct to survive at all costs and being apart of a group can greatly increase those chances. With every denial and rejection, we fall further and further away from our ideal societal beliefs and necessities to move on in life. To move on for the better.

Macdonald, Geoff, Leary R., Mark, “Why Does Social Exclusion Hurt? The Relationship Between Social and Physical Pain.” Psychological Bulletin, Vol. 131, The American Psychological Association,14-7-2004, 202-223, Social and Physical Pain, https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.335.4272&rep=rep1..., 29-8-2019