HOW YOUR DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY CAN GET ALONG AT THANKSGIVING THIS YEAR
Published on Nov 25, 2015
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Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and who’s ready to watch cousins of cousins and aunts and uncles silently glare at each other from across the table?
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Who’s ready for their Aunt Willis to make some killer warm cranberry Thanksgiving punch?
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Who’s ready to meet Grandpa’s new girlfriend?
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some cool suggestions on how to navigate your dysfunctional family this Thanksgiving.
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Extroverts usually share their opinions at high noise volumes in sing-songy natures. This can be good or bad depending upon your interest/tolerance of long loud conversations about INCOME TAX or NOTRE DAME’S FOOTBALL JERSEYS THIS YEAR or WHY DOESN’T EVERYONE WRITE THEIR NAMES ON THEIR PUNCH CUPS?
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Extroverts, when set alone can overwhelm, but when set alongside a some more passive Uncles and Aunts (in need of all the latest news), can act as a sweet buffer.
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Extroverts harbor a sense of confidence. Extroversion is a throbbing sociability characteristic, extroverts take responsibility for their actions and then some. They thrive on coaching because they value growth. Set your extrovert family member to their strengths, coaching and cultivating growth.
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Place your extroverted family member next to some arguing cousins, set them near an area that needs constructive growth and watch the extrovert flourish.
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once your tryptophan coma sets it, you can let them take the reins of the entire conversation and just relax.
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PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE COUSINS, EASY ON THE PEPSI FULLER
We’ve all got them, let’s face it not everyone’s got the perfect cousin like Fuller McCallister in the 1992 holiday classic Home Alone.
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Most of us have taller much more opinionated cousins, who for some reason have a “no holds barred” mentality when it comes to discussing your personal life. Don’t let them get you down Fuller, never take it easy on that Pepsi.
Here are some up–to–date passive aggressive comments to look out for this Thanksgiving. Prep your rebuttals and take a win home for Fuller and the rest of us.
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THE “I DON’T WATCH TV COMMENT.”
“No I haven’t seen Mob Wives, I guess I read too much to ever really watch TV.”
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Yes, they do, there’s no way they don’t watch TV and magically recycle a John Oliver joke and pass it off as their own. Without actually watching television, NICE TRY CUZ.
Your rebuttal: “Oh bummer, then you probably don’t care that Olivia Pope…FILL IN THE BLANK WITH A SPOILER.”
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THE PUREST NEWS FORMAT TO WATCH/READ ARGUMENT.
“You can’t only use the Huffington post as your primary news outlet, Al Qaeda uses the Huffington post.”
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Look, just reading about the news is good enough, hip news outlets, what have you, who cares? Just know where the most recent earthquake was, and you’re good.
Your rebuttal: “Well what’s your preferred new source?” and then they will talk forEVER.
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SUBTLE BRAGGING #HUMBLEBRAG
"Oh, these? These are my Yeezy boots, I pre-ordered them and got them a day before Kourtney Kardashian.”
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First off, everyone know’s Kanye hand delivered the first couple of boots to almost all of the Kardashians months before the shoes came out, so the lie detector determined THAT WAS A LIE. Second, don’t engage with the subtle braggers, listen to what they have to say and then take it out on some online shopping/tire slashing.
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Take the high road on these miscellaneous digs, and then talk about it with no end to whoever will listen afterward (family pet?) Plus DirectTV is way overrated and their remotes are stupid and confusing.
Your rebuttal: “Thank you for your honesty.” That usually shuts ‘em down.
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EMBRACE YOUR FAMILY FOLKS AND FULLERS
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