many people send confusing or negative nonverbal signals without even knowing it. When this happens, both connection and trust are damaged.

The human face is extremely expressive, able to express countless emotions without saying a word. And unlike some forms of nonverbal communication, facial expressions are universal. The facial expressions for happiness, sadness, anger, surprise, fear, and disgust are the same across cultures.

Consider how your perceptions of people are affected by the way they sit, walk, stand up, or hold their head. The way you move and carry yourself communicates a wealth of information to the world. This type of nonverbal communication includes your posture, bearing, stance, and subtle movements.

Gestures are woven into the fabric of our daily lives. We wave, point, beckon, and use our hands when we’re arguing or speaking animatedly—expressing ourselves with gestures often without thinking. However, the meaning of gestures can be very different across cultures and regions, so it’s important to be careful to avoid misinterpretation.

Since the visual sense is dominant for most people, eye contact is an especially important type of nonverbal communication. The way you look at someone can communicate many things, including interest, affection, hostility, or attraction. Eye contact is also important in maintaining the flow of conversation and for gauging the other person’s response.

It’s not just what you say, it’s how you say it. When we speak, other people “read” our voices in addition to listening to our words. Things they pay attention to include your timing and pace, how loud you speak, your tone and inflection, and sounds that convey understanding, such as “ahh” and “uh-huh.” Think about how someone's tone of voice, for example, can indicate sarcasm, anger, affection, or confidence.

1. Angry tone
2. Sympathetic tone
3. Arrogant tone
4. Frustrated tone
5. Distressed tone
6. Thoughtful tone
7. Excited tone
8. Distracted tone
9. Welcoming tone
10. Interested tone
11. Impatient tone
12. Sarcastic tone
13. Bored tone
14. Patient tone
15. Confused tone
16. Relaxed tone

“I was really confused – I couldn’t work out what actually happened.”

“I never thought about it like that. What does everyone else think of this idea?”

Tone options: experiment by saying this sentence:

1. in a suspicious tone
2. in a bemused tone
3. in a bored tone
4. in a frustrated tone

When your nonverbal signals match up with the words you’re saying, they increase trust, clarity, and rapport. When they don’t, they generate tension, mistrust, and confusion.

it’s important to become more sensitive