Your philosophy and beliefs need to be well formed over time, but not your ideas

Holding on to old ideas creates stagnation

Be stuck in who you are not in your ways

Brain imagery and solid research show that opti­mal prob­lem solv­ing occurs when the thinker is nimble-minded. He can cruise between abstract and con­crete, detail and big pic­ture, con­trolled and auto­matic think­ing. She can zoom in and zoom out, keep feel­ings and thoughts con­nected and dis­con­nected when needed, and reg­u­late atten­tion and dis­trac­tion: Olympic qual­ity think­ing, and not impos­si­ble to acquire.

Men­tal agility relates closely to phys­i­cal agility, the phrase gen­er­at­ing a sense of quick­ness and flex­i­bil­ity in activ­ity, com­bined with bal­ance, coor­di­na­tion, and sta­mina. Not a char­ac­ter­is­tic of the per­son who says, “No, this is the way we’ve always done it,” but a descrip­tion of the employee who says, “But let’s see what hap­pens if we try X+Y-K!” Either could have a good solu­tion in mind, but the per­son who tries X+Y-K will have gained more infor­ma­tion, expe­ri­ence, and men­tal agility for future problem-solving on any topic, even if the solu­tion is not the best at the moment.


– Judith C. Tin­gley Ph.D.

Some of the reasons we don't ask for help:

1) It's just easier to do it myself
2) Someone else won't do as good a job
3) Other people think I should know this already
4) I think I should know this already
5) I am already behind and I've been covering up for it

It comes down to three things control, fear, and pride:
1) Nobody else can do this like I can (pride)
2) What if they do it better; I'll be exposed (fear)
3) I better just keep this to myself (control)

“Remember teamwork begins by building trust. And the only way to do that is to overcome our need for invulnerability.”

― Patrick Lencioni, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable

“The strength of the team is each individual member. The strength of each member is the team.”

― Phil Jackson

You have to know those around you and they have to know you... only in that way can we really lean on strengths and support weaknesses. It requires unity and generosity.

The worst thing you can do is have the feeling that you want to expose your teammate. It is not about where they are weak - it is about how are you going to help them be strong.

Getting your own way is just a practice in pride...


Yes sometimes you have the best idea and the best way... but many times you just have your best idea and your best way...

You need to learn (and it is very hard) to put your pride aside, get out of your own way which opens up learning.


This is something I struggle with mightily

From an article by Jeff Steinmann:

10 Ways To Get Out Of Your Own Way And Get Things Done:

1) Remember why you're doing it (the answer is not "yourself")
2) Think about the outcome - why is your best needed?
3) Focus on the important stuff - what is essential?
4) Listen to music - opens up your mind to new possibilities
5) Get up and move around - again, mental agility
6) When you are frustrated, meditate - time is essential
7) Stop comparing yourself to others - you can learn from them but you can't be them
8) Give up the ridiculous notion of perfection - nobody is
9) Pat yourself on the back - but don't take yourself too seriously
10) Help someone else - focusing on another can help bring things into focus

I wish i had a quarter for every time I have been in meetings that are only interested in assigning blame...

it comes from a innate desire to be faultless - another pride issue

What struck me most about this discussion was Steve's commitment to running Apple like a start-up; The Biggest One on the Planet! There are no committees, ZERO. Apple manages it's business on the basis of an accountability chart, not an organizational chart:

One person is in charge of iPhone OS.
One person is in charge of Mac Hardware.
One Person is in charge of iPhone Hardware Engineering.
Steve Jobs

There is one person in charge of SE Support for your SE's and your customers - You

You are in charge of your business... you will make mistakes; others will make mistakes - doesn't matter who made the mistake if you fix them then fix them - don't expect someone else to do it.

Rory Vaden:

The High Cost of Always Being 'Right'

1) We stop listening
2) We stop exploring
3) We stop learning


When you give yourself the label of "I'm always right" you have put you mind in park and lose your mental agility

Here's what I've learned:


1) The Earth still spins
2) It's gonna be someone else the next time
3) Sometimes it me the next time
4) Recognize it and fix it
5) Take responsibility but don't torture yourself
6) Laugh... especially at yourself
7) Learn... try to not make the same mistake twice
8) Learn from others... you don't have enough time in your life to make all the mistakes yourself


Like I have said before - it is so much better to say yes and make a mistake than to say no and never know if you could have done it.

Faderism:

The people who think they know everything really piss off those of us who do.

I've forgotten more than any of us on this team - I was once the pinnacle of engineering and telephony knowledge... I purposefully gave it up and focused on leadership and business acumen

Those who know the most tend to act like they have the more to learn. Those who act like they know it all tend to have the most to learn.

Shep Hyken:
I believe that communication is the cornerstone to good customer and employee relationships. One of my favorite strategies is to “Ask the extra question.” This ensures you have a better understanding of what your customer wants and expects. Here is something that happened to me and my colleagues at a recent meeting in Washington, DC.

We decided to have lunch at a pub. The menu had a number of great looking appetizers. Along with our lunch entrees, we ordered several of them. One of the appetizers was mini-hamburgers; three to an order. Well, there were seven of us. I nicely asked the server that since there were three to an order, and there were seven of us, could they make seven and just charge us for it. He said, “No problem.”

Out came the appetizers. There were chicken wings, nachos and… seven orders of mini-hamburgers. Not seven burgers, but seven orders of burgers. That’s 21 burgers total. At first we were shocked. The server, with an embarrassing look on his face said, “It did seem like you were ordering too much food.”

So, why didn’t he ask us about it? He admitted it didn’t seem right. No, he didn’t ask the extra question, and we ended up boxing up 15 hamburgers. The good news is that there were some homeless people in the park across the street that had a nice lunch, thanks to our server’s lapse in common sense.

The Lesson: Sometimes people say something and mean something else. Or, you may simply not understand someone. Avoid problems. Avoid confusion. Most important, avoid letting down a customer. Ask the extra question(s).