Writing a self-account

Part 1 (P.2)

1. What are the purposes of the text?

1. What are the purposes of the text?

• Social science and sociology

2. Who are the audience of the text?

2. Who are the audience of the text?

• Admission officer

3.What is the main idea of each paragraph?

• Para.1:

3.What is the main idea of each paragraph?

• Para. 1: show his personality (like raising questions)
• his interest in social science and sociology

3.What is the main idea of each paragraph?

• Para.2

3.What is the main idea of each paragraph?

• Para.2: illustrate his relevant experience of being a member of Chinese Debating Team

3.What is the main idea of each paragraph?

• Para. 3:

3.What is the main idea of each paragraph?

• Para. 3: explain how sociable and active he is by sharing his experience of being a member of the Student Union

3.What is the main idea of each paragraph?

• Para. 4:

3.What is the main idea of each paragraph?

• Para. 4: illustrate his most valuable experience of being the Chairperson of the Junior Police Call

3.What is the main idea of each paragraph?

• Para. 4: illustrate his most valuable experience of being the Chairperson of the Junior Police Call

3.What is the main idea of each paragraph?

• Para. 5:

3.What is the main idea of each paragraph?

• Para. 5: Conclude with his strengths, personality and hope

4.Please point out the impressive expressions in the text.

5.Please give suggestions for improvement.

5.Please give suggestions for improvement.

Admission officer 1

• It is very much better in comparison. Having said that, it can be shortened a bit and one suggestion -- to bod the key position / responsibility the applicant has taken in his / her secondary school.

Admission officer 2

• Example 2 is a well-structured self account which is illustrated with relevant and interesting examples. The specific details cited demonstrates that the writer has some understanding of the discipline he/she has selected. The account also shows how participation in different activities has contributed to the growth and development of the student.

Read Texts 1-4

Read Texts 1-4

• Purposes of writing
• Audience
• Positive comments (on the text)
• Suggestions for improvement

Discussion

• Form groups of 3-4
• Discuss Q1-5 on P.6 on the assigned text.

Text 1--Purpose

Text 1--Purpose

• mention his interests (photo-taking, biodiversity, explore the world)
• Biology-related disciplines

Text 1--Positive comments

• relevant hobby and interests to the discipline
• Para.2 L7: "The experience fuels my determination to study Biology-related disciplines in my tertiary edcuation."

Text 1--Suggestions for improvement

• Para.3: We seldom get much experiences of practical work ...

Text 2--Purpose

• Para.3: "prove my eligibility in tertiary education"

Text 2--Admission officer 1

• It is good with substantial evidence in support of his voluntary experience. The applicant has demonstrated his ability to learn from reflection, showing he is a learning student.

Text 2--Admission officer 2

• Although the self-account shows that the student has participated in voluntary services, very little specific detail is provided on how the experiences have helped them in their personal growth. The statement remains vague and general and therefore not very convincing.

Text 2--Admission officer 3

• The details and individual examples are good.

Text 3--Purpose

• Mathematics

Text 3--Admission officer 1

• It can be a good statement if the applicant can further elaborate the linkage between Maths and every aspect of our daily lives. However, it contains a lot of vague sentences which give negative impression to the Admission Officers that the applicant doesn’t have a logical and organized thinking. There is no need to put everything in the statement, be focused and concise.

Text 2--Admission officer 2

• The writer has made a series of statements which are not supported by details or examples. There is also a lack of organization or central theme or focus in the self-account. This gives the impression that the writers have not seriously considered their programme choices.

Text 2--Admission officer 3

• The self-account is basically alright, but the content could be made more precise and concise.

Text 4--Purpose

• Para.1 "the awards I have obtained and the duties I have performed in my secondary school years"
• Para.4: "prove my capability and enthusiasm for my further studies in the tertiary education"

Text 4--Admission officer 1

• It is a very good writing, convincing and reflective.

Text 4--Admission officer 2

• It is difficult to see why this account is written. If it is written as self-reflection and a record of learning, then it has to provide a clear account of not only the participation but also the reflection.

Text 4--Admission officer 3

• By writing about the student’s extracurricular activities and life experiences, the article gives us some good ideas on the personality and character of the student, as well as his writing skills, which facilitate the admission assessment.

Text 4--Admission officer 3

• By writing about the student’s extracurricular activities and life experiences, the article gives us some good ideas on the personality and character of the student, as well as his writing skills, which facilitate the admission assessment.

Plan your self account

• Purposes?
• Relevant personality?
• Relevant subjects?
• Relevant experiences?
• Expectation on tertiary education