Study isnt really just a solo venture, the whole family is actually involved.

All family needs some knowledge about timing, topics, how long - that way support is present and friction is minimised.

There are techniques in getting family on the same page, if you like some DO's and DONT's that can be considered.

Human brain develops by literally creating more connections and more nerves. Without being fullly developed, the adult human capacity for logical connections, emotion control, reasoning and spatial awareness cannot be fully and consistently present either. More typically, sometimes they are present and sometimes they are not.

Whilst the overall size of brain is fully grown by teenage years, developing the required connections and strengthening these connections is a work in progress that takes until our early 20's

Process of "pruning" un-needed connections, thickening the more commonly used connections

This is not an excuse for inconsistent behaviours but rather an explanation that understanding continued brain development is useful to guiding study sessions.

Studying enhances development of the important "learning rules" parts of brain, in particular decision making and problem solving. Things that are encountered in daily
ife outside the study.

Asking to understand long term consequences of studying and not studying is usually not successful, but providing communication link between family members so the study is most likely to happen is frequently successful

Creating understanding is the antidote to arguments. That isnt to say arguments on the topic of study and homework wont occur, because they will. However a goal to create understanding of just what the issues are, is possible 80% of the time, and is both good for family harmony AND a useful life skill

Understanding means having timing and context to discuss what the needs for study are.

Specifically what food, water bottle and time needs are present. Organise these before the session starts to minimise the getting up to get something moments.

What is to be achieved (often needing conversation, which requires patience and listening)

What is the minimum to be achieved, the recognise that achievement.

Ensure you are fully set on the long term benefits of effective study which go well beyond school results. The ability to organise time to learn AND effectively learn is a skill that sets up for life success within workplace and relationships.

It is generally true that resistance to studying comes from a place of "not knowing".

Not knowing HOW to study.
Not knowing HOW to prioritise the different areas needing study
Not understanding the work they are studying
Not understanding that sitting on bed studying isnt the most effective way.

Whilst there are occasions where all of us need to be TOLD what to do, usually a conversation to get more understanding is useful first point.

If you are told they dont know what the issue is, then guiding towards the most effective way (use their strengths, use physical environment, use chunks of time ) is the default setting that most likely helps them.

Guide them towards what they can do (remember humans mostly focus on the negatives, which will be what they HAVENT done, what they CANT do, what they DONT have time for). Arguing doesnt help, but asking what CAN be done switches their thoughts.

Avoid comparison - comparison to another students efforst, where they should be up to - these only entrench negative thoughts and sabotage their study by increasing stress response.
Coming back to the phrase "what else can I do" for them brings in the feeling of contribution, problem solving and responsibiliity.



Review after the session, listening to what went well. You probably arent going to be thanked or get acknowledgement that things went well, but read between the lines ....

Most of all of us have already seen this (famous studies done in 1970's). We hear our words, but we frequently dont see our body language or hear our tone of voice. But our kids do.

Communication definition = what the other person understands from our interaction. Are we bringing the tone of voice and body language and words togethre to really communicate with our kids.

Who amongst us has NOT thought "they just should listen"? But can they really listen unless our 3 communication components are aligned with our purpose of communication?

None of this is criticism. All of this is simply self awareness of what communication interactions we have with our kids actually teaches them.

Most of all of us have already seen this (famous studies done in 1970's). We hear our words, but we frequently dont see our body language or hear our tone of voice. But our kids do.

Communication definition = what the other person understands from our interaction. Are we bringing the tone of voice and body language and words togethre to really communicate with our kids.

Who amongst us has NOT thought "they just should listen"? But can they really listen unless our 3 communication components are aligned with our purpose of communication?

None of this is criticism. All of this is simply self awareness of what communication interactions we have with our kids actually teaches them.