I've lived in many houses. Big ones, small ones, long ones, tall ones even a few apartments and trailers. One house was in the middle of a 200,000 sq. acre sugar beet farm. Our nearest neighbor was half a mile away and our mailbox was over a mile. Some houses were more of a home then a house and some were more of a house then a home. I have found memories in my houses and very bad memories. Sometimes my house was the car. I've had houses all over the country; houses in Utah, Idaho, New York, Florida, Texas, and Virginia. I've been in more houses then I can count. Some houses I can't completely remember. But I've never had my own room, funny. I've had houses with yards and driveways and houses with nothing but a sidewalk. Brick, wood, log, expensive, cheep, and halfway houses. I've been in houses for not even a year and sometimes for more than 5 years. I can see my old houses and connect a specific memory to it. Like the house where I was brought to after I was born. The house were I got my first bike. The trailer where had to share a room with all 4 of my siblings. The house where my parents got divorced. And the house where I met someone very special.... Yeah, I've been in a lot of houses. Houses with dogs, houses with bunnies, houses with horses and houses with all three. Yeah, a whole lot of houses and a whole lot of lost homes.

I have one name and many names. Jeffrey, it means heavenly peace, traveler, or peaceful pledge. Jeffrey, it defines me and restricts me. I have the name of a famous actor Jeffrey Bridges and most people will try and relate me to him simply by my name. I've gone by other names; Jefferson, Buzzer, The Dude, Hulk, Mammoth and even Person. Jefferson was a play on my name by my father and I don't let anyone else call me that. Buzzer was given to be as a child because i would "buzz" right through food. The Dude was given to me during football because the actor Jeffrey Bridges played a character who went by "The Dude". Hulk and Mammoth were given to me by friends because i am bulky and tower over them. Names power, they can bring up a memory or a feeling. Some names will stick in my mind forever. Names of lost, and names of stolen. Names can define you if you choose and to be honest i love my names.

Laughter is a powerful thing. It can make a friendship or chip away at someone's self esteem. My Laughter is very load, and always a nice thing. I laugh at stupid things, funny people, comedians, and laughter, laughter makes me laugh. The way i know if i'm good friends with someone is if i can make them laugh. My best friends always make me laugh. I only hope my laughter makes no one cry.

I have some really crazy friends. Friends that i know their last words will be "Hey, watch this." Its really funny, but kinda sad. They brighten my day with laughter, and hold a special spot in my mind. I hope i never forget their stupid jokes, pranks, or stunts. I want to remember every crazy thing I did with them. I do a lot of crazy things but I'm very careful about what I do, i never want to do something I will regret.

Darius was like many kids in the school system; he acted like a fool and was labeled as a trouble maker. But in truth he wasn't an idiot, he was smart. So many kids are like that. They hate school so they try to make it fun, they hate the system so they try and make the best out of it. They are smart and fun but schools have tried to label them as "stupid" because they try to have fun in school instead of just going through 7-8 hours of boredom. It is sad that the school doesn't try and make things more fun so that thos who are smart but simply bored can actually show how smart they really are.

Calling people cruel names can destroy them better then a gun or knife. It ruins their image of themselves, thus causing them to never really live. They can't have fun, or make friends cause they think no one would every want to be friends with them. I used to be call fat all the time and it hurt. It cause me to be very secluded and lonely .But unlike so many people, i did't take it to heart forever, I forgot about it and put myself back into the world. I learned that you can't let people ruin YOUR life. But like i said, many people can't do that. They let people call them rude names and let them tear them down. They let it go so far they want to kill themselves, many do... I am guilty of name calling but since i know what it's like to be on the receiving end. So i stop myself and try to stop others. I don't want to tear people down, i don't want to be responsible for someone's death.

Sometimes you do things you regret. Everyone regrets something. I regret going to a dance where i was more of a wall flower than anything else. Everyone is always talking about how fun dances are and how is should go but the one time I did I regretted it. I decided against asking somewhere to it, i figured I'd just hang with my friends. But that's not how it went. My friends were going with people already so i would end up going by myself. "Whatever" I said, "I'll still have a good time," but i didn't. There was nothing fun about watching people dance. Nothing fun about watching people enjoy themselves, when you are chilling on the wall not doing anything. I regret not having fun, i wish i had gone with someone or not had gone at all. Regret can teach us things we didn't want to learn.

What about the shoes? Shoes are very important to the outfit. You can have a nice tie or shirt but the entire image is ruined when you don't have the right shoes. Shoes show how important your appearance is to you. It's easy to find a nice tie but it's very difficult to find the right shoes. The shoes have to match the outfit, which means you CANNOT wear brown shoes with a black or gray suit. The shine is the most valuable aspect of the shoe. If you want to show that you take your time to get every detail right, you better get a brilliant shine on your shoes. Laces or no laces? No laced shoes are slick and easy to move while laces show a more professional image, so it depends on what you are trying to express. In my opinion there should be only two colors for shoes, black and brown. Black for every outfit except brown. Keep your shoes fit by putting a shoe tree in them every night. If you noticed i haven't mentioned anything about tennis shoes or basketball shoes, that is because they have NO business with suits. They are for recreation and not for looking professional. If you want to impress your employer you DON'T show up in Nike. Keep your shoes clean and they will impress people and help you achieve goals.

My first job was working for my dad to deliver papers for the Tampa Tribune. We had to wake get there at midnight and fold 5,000 papers and then deliver them all. We work until 6:00 am. It is brutal, i want to say and sleep forever but you can't. Your brain is used to patterns and routine which means you will wake up at 8:00 am even if you fall asleep at 6:00 am and you won't be able to get back to sleep. But it teaches you to be efficient so you don't work too long. At least i could get some pocket money even if it isn't a lot. Jobs put you in the world of adulthood and keeps you there, if you do it right. If you work hard enough jobs can even set you free. Seems crazy, a job setting you free. But it can happen, only if you work hard enough.

I know al ot of people who have died. Death from old age, death from disease and death from suicide... It hurts to loose someone you love. It hurts to have someone taken from you. You get mad at anything and everything, you start to hate people who love you and all you want is the person you lost. Actual death is not the only death. I have lost people who are still alive. I'll never see them or talk to them again and even though they can still breath to me they are dead. I miss everyone I lost deeply but that makes me more grateful that I have the people I still have.

I've thought about my death a lot. If i die in an accident. If i die from a disease. If I die from old age. So many different ways to die. But I've always see after my death that people will be at my funeral. But what if nobody knew i had died. What if i die in some foreign place and there is nobody to tell my loved ones that i am dead. No body to give them, no burial. It scares me, I want to be able to tell my family and friends i love them before I die. I don't want to die all alone. I've made this joke than on my death bed, right before i go, i will say "I left one million dollars under the.... the...." and then i go. It's only a joke but then i realize that is what I want. I want to die old, surrounded by family with a smile on my face. I don't want to be forgotten.

Do you ever think about how much your mother cares about you?