THE NAMING OF CATS

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• The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
• It isn't just one of your holiday games;
• You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter
• When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.

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• First of all, there's the name that the family use daily,
• Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,
• Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey--
• All of them sensible everyday names

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• There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
• Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
• Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter- -
• But all of them sensible everyday names.

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• But I tell you, a cat needs a name that's particular,
• A name that's peculiar, and more dignified,
• Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
• Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?

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• Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
• Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,
• Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum-
• Names that never belong to one cat.

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• But above and beyond there's still one name left over,
• And that is the name that you will never guess;
• The name that no human research can discover- -
• But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.

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• When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
• The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
• His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
• Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought
• of his name:

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• His ineffable effable
• Effanineffable
• Deep and inscrutable singular Name.