Hey, what are you doing here? I wasn't expecting you. I know we haven't meet yet. So let me introduce myself. My name is Misty Johnson, lifegroup leader of PhxLg.
And before going on, life.church and I want to thank you for taking a leap of faith and contacting me. Later on I will go over some group information and give you some next steps.
I was in Sunday school and must have been in preschool, because I can remember there were babies crying and other kids running around and toys everywhere.
I was sitting at a table by a tall window. Looking out the window there were no buildings, grand mountains off in the distance and cotton ball clouds dancing on a brilliant blue backdrop.
In front of me was a coloring book page of Jesus Christ. The bottom of the page said savior. He was dressed in robe like attire with sandals and was holding a stick in his hand.
I remember the few minutes as if time stood still. The noise from the children playing and the teacher speaking, seemed to fade away into a serine bird chirping silence.
The moment felt supernatural. It was like Jesus himself had come to sit with me and whispered, "I am your Savior. Have faith in Me and you will inherit My kingdom."
Staring at the coloring page in front of me and the view out the window, I realized I had a choice. I made a decision that day. Jesus is my savior, I will have faith in God and the Spirit will be my ever present help.
Although let's face it that's not exactly how the wording went. It was more like, " wow Jesus died for all the bad stuff I haven't even done yet? And his dad, God sent him to? And now his ghost is in me telling me where to go?
My home life wasn't good either, we lived off and on with my grandparents through the years, 5 people in 1 room. Evicted from multiple apartments. I never had a stable living situation.
I barely spent time with my father when because he worked nights for the extra pay. My mother was stressful to deal with because she struggles with depression and mental disabilities. Eventually after 15 years of marriage they devoured.
This part is hard, so I will sum it up best I can. When I was a sophomore, 3 of the most steady people in my life died all within an year ish of one another. In March My grandfather passed from a aneurism. In May my grandmother passed from leukemia.
And that September my father died. A few days later I dropped out of high school. And at this point in my life I was in a deep and vast, thunderous storm. I would seek out anything to numb the pain.
The storm continued for many years. Many. I had not lost faith in God, but rather I had turned my back on Him. Saying "how could you.. Why.. What are you doing to me? Just take the pain away"
Fast forward 10 years again. I'm 24, married with 3 kids, and life is still in a whirlwind of a storm. Providing for our kids is a struggle, paying our bills is a struggle, marriage is a struggle.
After 7 years of marriage I was thinking of divorce. The years of being unhappy and the pain weighed heavily on me. My children's future was knocking on my door. Where am I? Where am I going? What am I doing? Why am I here?
My life felt like it was spiraling out of control. I was so deeply lost my soul couldn't even find me on the brightest of days. I was hurting so bad, sinking so fast, I couldn't fathom a life other than this.
I was just passing the time one day, when it accrued to me that maybe if I opened myself up and let God back in my life, things could get better. Because let's face it, I was at the bottom of the bottle and I figured it can't get any worse. I had little faith that He could do anything to help.
So with nowhere left to go, I decided why not. . . And I dove right in. I knew if I wanted to be closer to God I needed to learn more about Him, I needed to be around people who knew more than me, and I needed support to walk this new path.
So I went online searching. At the time I was a stay at home mom and no car, so traveling to a church was out of the question. That's when I found life church! I was able to be part of a community without physically being there.
I was able to learn the stories of the bible through video teaching, where I had the ability to hear it again if it resonated with me. I could read the bible and highlight verses on the you version bible app.
I let go of my haunting past because I learned that in Gods eyes it was part of His plan. I learned to trust in His plan. I learned to listen to His guidance. I came to know that all this took a constant choice of dedication on my end.
Now, last time fast forward to the present. Every aspect of my life has improved. And I mean every aspect. I tell people that I feel like I'm sailing on smooth water in the ocean of life. And to be completely honest it doesn't feel normal, considering the context of my past. To put it plainly, I feel weird but a good weird.